


Worlds Apart

by DVNTYRCS



Series: Between You, me, and the Universe [4]
Category: The Bold Type, kadena - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2019-09-05 12:42:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 30,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16810846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DVNTYRCS/pseuds/DVNTYRCS
Summary: Kat and Adena fins themselves worlds apart. Can they find their way back?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy and if so drop me a note.  
> Thanks. K. Bye.

1

It’s after ten and Adena is sitting up, waiting patiently. She waits for Kat to dress and get in bed. She waits for her to turn and kiss her goodnight before calmly stating, “I want my wife back.” 

Kat pulls back confused. “I'm right here.”

Adena shakes her head, “Kat, you haven't been here in months. You work late most nights. You go into the office on weekends. The kids barely see you. I feel like I'm a single mother. I don’t even remember the last time we shared a meal, no less had sex.” 

Adena fidgets with her wedding band as she takes in Kat. “I hired a private investigator.” She watches as Kat’s jaws tense at the revelation. Adena continues before Kat has a chance to formulate a response. “I thought you were having an affair.”

Kat’s head drops low as she shuts her eyes and shakes her head. 

“When she said you're weren't, I didn't know if I was more relieved or disappointed.” Adena registers the incredulous expression on her wife’s face. “You cheating at least would have made things make sense.”

Kat blinked up at her. “You wanted me to be cheating?” Kat's voice rose despite an attempt to quell it. “How fucked up is that?” The agitation was evident. “Why couldn't you trust me?” She mumbles almost to herself. 

Adena could see the hurt in Kat's eyes. “I do. I did.” She hated to be the reason for it but Kat wasn't the only one in this marriage who needed something. “I knew you becoming Editor-N-Chief would mean there were times you would be home late. We talked about it, but I never thought that would mean putting your career before your family.”

“You think that's what I'm doing? 

“From where I'm sitting, yeah.”

“Then you haven't been paying attention at all. I'm not doing this for me.”

“It sure as hell isn't for us,” Adena snaps. “Arman used to ask every night when you'd be home? It's gotten to the point where he stopped asking. Asha now acts out right before bedtime.” She knew this was news to Kat.

“Why didn't you say anything?”

“Can you say you would’ve done anything differently if I had?” 

“That's not fair.”

“It is fair when I’ve asked you to make time for us and things may change for a week, two tops and we're right back here.”

“I'm trying, can't you see?” Kat searched her wife's eyes and what she saw left her deflated.

“Last week Elliott called. He's opening a new gallery in Paris. He asked me to help him get it up and going. I wasn't sure at first; I told him I needed to think about it. I called him back today to let him know I'm going to take him up on the offer. I plan to fly out next week and I want to take the kids with me.” Kat turns away, swing her legs over the edge of the bed to stare at nothing in particular. “They won't be starting school until the fall. This will be a good vacation for them. My schedule will still be flexible enough to work around the kids' needs.” Adena stares at her wife’s back as her shoulders sink. 

There is a long uncomfortable silence until Kat finds her voice again. “Are you leaving me?” 

“I think we both could use some space to clear our heads and figure out what we want.”

“Figure out what you want...” Kat twists back around with one foot tucked underneath her to look her wife in the eyes. “like a divorce you mean?”

“I told you what I want.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“I’m not sure, maybe a month or so.”

“Uh uhh, that's too long. The kids can stay here. I'll…”

“What, get another nanny? So they can be with a stranger every day, all day while you're at work. No.” Adena is firm in her stance.

“You are not taking my kids from me.” There was an iciness to Kat's voice which quietly shook Adena causing her to bristle at Kat's words. “OUR kids.”

“Yes OUR kids. Meaning you can't unilaterally decide to up and take them halfway across the world because you feel like it.”

“You know it's better for them to be with me if they can't be with you. I talked to the kids and they're excited. They want to go.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” She felt betrayed.

“What about what I need?”

Kat stood up seething.

Adena followed her with her eyes. “Kat, where are you going?”

“You said you need space.” Kat snatched her pillow. “Let me give it to you. I want to make sure you feel heard and everything.” She left the bedroom with no plans of returning. 

2

Kat finds her way to the twins bedroom. They’re fast asleep. Arman had kicked off his blanket. She walks over and pulls the blanket up over his legs. Asha is over in her bed with the covers pulled over her head. 

Kat goes to lie down between their beds on the carpeted floor, tucking the pillow underneath her head. She tries to force out all the negativity in her head as she closes her eyes but her mind is a cacophony. After a couple of minutes, Kat opens her eyes to long curls framing a little heart-shaped face with bright brown eyes peering down at her from the bed. “Did I wake you?”

Asha shakes her head no and scooted down to the floor to join her mother. Kat moves over and opens her arms to make room.

3

Adena tossed and turned all night. When she woke this last time she decided to get up and get started with the day. She went to check on the kids. She stopped in the doorway and her heart stopped at the sight. Arman and Asha were asleep on the floor in her wife’s arms. Kat was always at her best when it came to the kids, at least she used to be. She lost her way. Adena hopes she can find her way back.

4

The announcement came over the speaker. Shortly, it would be time for them to board. Kat crouched down, hugged and kissed Asha and Arman promising to talk to them soon and every day.

“Mommie come with us?” Asha asked not ready to release her hand.

Kat looked at Adena who wouldn't make eye contact. Kat put the most convincing smile in place, “We talked about this remember? I can't go right now but maybe later. I'm going to miss you two every day.”

“And maman,” Arman reminded.

“And maman, too.”

“Ok, you two get your backpacks.” The duo reached for their bags.

Adena and Kat approached one another and it was clear Kat wasn't sure what to do. Adena pulled her wife into her body for a hug. “I do love you.” She felt a little better when Kat hugged her back secure, tight. Adena's hand to her wife's back told her what she needed to know. Kat was on the verge of crying so she wouldn't say it back.

“We should go.”

Kat released her and smiled tightly and waved as they disappeared into the crowd. When she turned she could not hold herself any longer and tears flooded her eyes. She had been fighting so long, so hard to hold onto everything. Now it was all slipping through her fingers.

Adena gets the twins seated and situated. When she finally takes her seat a wave of silent tears rolls from the corners of her eyes. She was disappointed in Kat for not fighting harder for them to stay. 

“Maman why are you crying?”

The mother smiles through her tears. “I'm going to miss mommie is all.”

“Me too,” Arman bobs his head in agreement and looks out the small window.

“But we have each other and we're going to have so much fun.”

“But who will mommie have?” Asha questions.

5

Kat returns to an empty house. She hasn’t slept well as of late. It’s more like her body would keep moving until exhaustion would take her down. She was tired but it wasn’t the kind came from working 60 hr weeks. It was the emotional exhaustion of trying to keep the sky from falling every day. 

She doesn’t bother turning on any lights. She checks the security system, walks up the flight of stairs to the second floor and down the hall to the kids' room. 

Kat flips on a light and looks over the kids playroom. Everything is organized and in its place except for a few items. She walks over and picks up Yaya’s old bear. It was without an eye, an ear was gnawed off, and a seam had burst below the armpit. She wonders when he stopped sleeping with it. She flipped the lights back off and moved across the hall to the kids' bedroom.

Kat collapses onto her daughter's bed and hugs her son's bear. Adena was right. She hasn’t been present like she wanted. It wasn't meant to go on for so long. She thought she would have righted things at Scarlett by now. Digital was killing it and growing but print was dying a painful death and the board had an unreasonable expectation of her resuscitating it.

But Adena betrayed her. She can’t believe she hired a P.I. to spy on her. Adena should have talked to her about the kids, she should have told her about Elliot and the job offer. Instead, her loving wife slept beside her for days knowing she was planning this. She wondered what else she didn't tell her. Maybe she really is planning for a divorce. Maybe Adena has talked to a lawyer. Maybe she needed to get one too.


	2. Chapter 2

1

The kids had just fallen asleep although it was a little early for their bedtime. Adena glanced at the suitcases she needed to unpack but first, she searched her purse for her phone. She needed to call Kat and let her know they’ve arrived. 

The iPhone booted up and a notification dinged alerting her to a voicemail. She listened. It was Kat checking to make sure they arrived safely. She deleted it and returned the call. Kat picked up on the second ring.

“Did you make it okay?” Kat answered the phone. 

“Yes. We're fine.”

“They weren't too fussy on the plane were they?”

“No. Asha was fine with snacks and movies but became restless towards the end; they both did. Arman was a little more difficult but he calmed down after they let him visit the pilot. Was that you?” She knew her wife had the flair for the extravagant when it came to the kids.

“No.” Kat lied. She didn’t feel like hearing Adena scold her for pulling strings. “Do you have his emergency prescription?”

“I have everything.” There was a hint of irritation.

“Of course you do.”

Adena waited through the awkward silence before saying, “I would put them on but their asleep. It may take a couple of days for them to adjust to the time change.”

“Oh, alright.”

“How are you?” Adena clutched the phone tighter and studied the carpet underneath her feet waiting for a response.

“I don't know what you expect me to say.”

“I don't expect anything.” It wasn't exactly true but she wasn't in the mood for an argument.

Kat was poised to reply but her assistant signaled her one o'clock was here. “I have to go. Please have the kids call me when they wake up. I don't care what time it is.”

I will.” Adena ended the call. She stared at the phone for a minute. It was the first time they've ended a call so abruptly, not a ‘Love you’ in sight.

2

Adena was waiting for Firuze to meet her at a cafe by the gallery. Firuze moved to France last year after remarrying. She had been a godsend since returning to Paris. She had volunteered to take the twins in the mornings when she could. This morning she took the kids to a marionette show near the park. 

Cafe Luca was small yet bustling. It was great for people watching and a temporary distraction from her marital problems. Adena was seated at a small table near the window looking at her phone. She looked up when she heard her name called from the counter. It was Coco. 

Adena was feeling emotional but tried to compose herself. Not so much for Coco but she didn’t want the kids to catch her crying when they arrive.

Coco approached with an espresso in hand and concern in her eyes. “Adena, are you alright?” 

The sullen woman gave a half hearted smile. “I’m going to be.”

She took seat across from Adena putting her espresso down, “what’s wrong?” She took Adena's hand.

“I don't want to talk about it.” 

The last time they spoke was six years ago. Coco’s hand on hers felt foreign and yet familiar. It was benign but felt too intimate given their history. Adena pulled her hand away and that’s when she noticed the ring. Her eyes brightened and a smile appeared. “Congratulations, when?”

Coco seemed dismissive of the of the band, “A year ago. Separated the past two months.”

“Sorry to hear that, marriage can be difficult.”

Adena watched Coco angle her head and narrow her eyes, “You speak from experience?”  
Coco noticed her silence. “Whatever became of what’s her name?”

“Don’t do that. You know her name and yes we’re still married.” Adena lifted her left hand and placed it on the table. 

“The last I heard anything you and her weren’t doing too well.”

Adena wondered who told her.

“Where is the wife?” Coco glanced around the cafe.

“New York.”

Coco sipped her espresso and studied the woman before her. “How long are you here?”

“I'm not leaving any time soon.”

“Good we have time to catch up.”

Adena spotted the kids and Firuze approaching the table.

Coco noticed Adena's demeanor shift as she addressed someone behind her. “They didn't give you hard time did they?”

Coco turned and gave a genuine smile after seeing who it was. She greeted Adena's old manager. “Firuze, it's been too long.” 

“It has been some time.” The older woman looked from Coco to Adena with an inquisitive look.

Coco was taking in the teo well dressed kids next to her. “Are these little ones yours?”

“No.” She smiled as she rustled Arman's hair who then laughed and ducked away closer to Adena.

“No, they’re mine.” Coco couldn’t hide her shock. She watched Asha and Arman take off their sweaters and hand them to their mother as they shared a seat.

Firuze chimed in, “I would love to stay and catch up but I have to go.” 

Adena squeezed Firuze’s hand, “Thank you, I owe you.” 

“This is what family is for.” She kissed Adena on her cheek and said her goodbyes for the day.

Adena then took the time to introduce Arman and Asha to Coco. “This is an old friend from when I used to live here in Paris.”

Yaya pressed a hand to his chest, “I’m Arman.”

“I’m Asha.” Mina stuck out her hand.

Coco shook it. “I’m Coco.” She found herself amused by the whole exchange. “They look like you and your wife.”

“You know my mommie too?” Asha Interrupted in Farsi.

“Not very well.” Coco was impressed with Asha’s language comprehension. 

“Mommie said Coco isn’t a real name,” she grinned and began swinging her feet.

“Did she?” Coco thinned her lips and glanced at Adena. Adena shook her head sheepishly.

They spoke a few more minutes before Coco needed to get back to work.

“Well, I won't keep you,” Coco stood. “Call me. My number hasn't changed.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Coco excused herself leaving Arman and Asha to recount their morning with Auntie Firuze.

“Maman we saw a puppet show”, Arman started in Farsi. His apple watch beeped and Adena’s phone simultaneously chimed. 

Adena signaled for the waiter and ordered two lemonades and a chicken sandwich for Asha and Arman to split. 

She removed the medicine from the bag and readied the dropper with the right dosage. Arman took the medicine with little fuss and stuck out his tongue in disgust out of habit. He drank some of her water and it was done at least until next dosage.

Arman caught sight of the pastries by the counter. “Ma, can we get a cookie?”

“After you two eat, we’ll see.”

“That means no,” Arman grumbled.

“It doesn’t always mean no.”

“Mommie would if she was here.” He folded his arms and pouted.

“Well, Mommie isn't here,” Adena snapped. She didn't mean it but she's stressed and Arman had been more temperamental than usual as of late. 

“When are we going home? I miss mommie,” he whined.

“We won’t be going home for a while.”

Asha frowned and kicked the table in response. 

“Asha, you know better,” Adena scolded. And looked down at her lap in response.

3

A few nights later, Arman ran to the side of the bed his mother was on and called her name, “maman, maman.” Adena's eyes fluttered open. She registered her son trying to get her attention and sat up, “Joon what's wrong?”  
He wouldn't say. “You had a bad dream?" He nodded his head. His mother pointed her thumb behind her and he ran to the other side of bed to get in. 

Adena laid back down and made sure he was underneath the sheet. When she turned on her side and closed her eyes she felt a small hand on her arm and a tiny voice. “I want to call mommie.”

She sighed and rolled to her back to face him, “It’s late, baby. You should be sleep and mommie is probably sleep as well.” It was close to five am Paris time.

Arman's eyes started watering and he began to sniffle. Adena did her best to comfort him before giving in and picking up her cell. He took it from her and speed dialed Kat. 

Kat couldn't get used to the stillness and silence of the house. For the first time, she dreaded coming home. The house no longer felt right. It was lifeless. 

She moved through the house with a zombie-like quality of her own as she walked up the stairs to the master bedroom. She was going through the motions. 

She planned to take a scalding hot shower in the hope it would help her sleep. She needed her brain to shut off, it was late enough as it was.

After showering she went into her bedroom, their bedroom, grabbed a pillow and blanket. She then turned on her heel and padded downstairs to the first-floor living room and laid on the couch.

She tossed and turned for a good fifteen minutes before kicking the blanket off and heading for the kitchen. She opened the fridge and scanned for anything to satisfy her. She sighed and closed the door and opened the freezer.

She pushed pass the prepared frozen meals Adena left her and grabbed the pint of ice cream. Ben and Jerry's butter pecan ice cream was the only dinner in which she was interested.

She returned to the couch as she cracked open the ice cream. She sat in the dark and ate. Kat got two spoonfuls in before the sadness in her heart began to blossom as she thought about her current circumstances. By the fourth spoonful, she was openly crying.

A melodic tune begins to go off in the room. She glanced at the phone. It was Adena. She wiped her face, sat down the container on the coffee table, and cleared her throat before clicking on the phone to answer. “Adena?”

She was happily surprised when she heard, “Mommie it's me,” but was also worried. “Yaya, baby what's wrong?” He should be sleep.

“I had a bad dream.”

“Does maman know your on the phone?”

“Yeah.”

“I found Bobo. I think he misses you.”

Yaya whispers, “Baba says I'm too big for Bobo.” Adena frowned at the revelation.

“Baba doesn't know what he's talking about. Remember baba says some right things. And sometimes baba says whacky and weird things. We don't listen to those but I'm going to talk to baba about Bobo,” Kat reminded.

“Okay.”

“Did you tell maman what baba said?”

Arman looked up at Adena and looked back down. “No.”

“It's okay I'll talk to maman too.”

“Bobo should sleep with you. He gets scared.”

“Okay. I'm going to take good care of Bobo so he doesn't get so scared.”

“Tell me a story.”

Kat thought for a second and jumped in to tell a fantastical tale. It something she occasionally did when they had nightmares.

He laid down next to his maman and snuggled close with the phone to his ear.

Adena watched Arman's grip on the phone loosen over time. His breathing began to even out. His eyes eventually followed suit and flutter close. After a couple of minutes like this, Adena takes the phone from his little hand and places it to her ear. She listens to Kat's voice for a moment as she continued to craft some elaborate funny tale. She smiled and gazed down at their son. “Hey,” Adena cuts in, “he's asleep.” 

“Good.” Kat thought about what Yaya said. “Did you know what you're father said to him?”

“No, not until now. I'll take care of it.”

“He can't be saying stuff like this to him.”

“I agree and I'll talk to him.”

“Hey, I added more money to the joint account. You know, in case they need anything.

She knew it was Kat's way of looking out for them. It warmed her heart but it simultaneously irritated her. It was a reminder of how she use money to fill in the gaps where she should be. They needed her but she sends money. “I don't think it'll be necessary but thank you.” Adena placed a hand to Arman's back and thought of Asha sleep in the next room. “It would be nice if you came even for a little while.”

“Now is not a good time.”

“You know what forget I asked. You should go to sleep we wouldn't want you late for work in the morning. I know how important it is to you.”

“Adena?”

“Goodnight.”


	3. Chapter 3

1

Kat keeps her promise to call every day. She calls twice a day at noon and 8 pm Paris time to speak with the kids. No matter what's going on with her, time with her kids are sacred. Like now, she was prepping for one of those calls.

Kat made sure her office door was closed shut and sat down in front of her computer. She booted up the application and moments later Arman appeared on her screen. “Hi mommy, “ he waved with enthusiasm. 

“Hi, baby.” She smiled a wide genuine smile which matched her child's. Talking to them was the only way to get her to smile. There wasn't a whole lot worth smiling about these days.”

“Look, I got a new shirt.” He jumped in further into the camera causing a close up of his Batman shirt. 

“I see.”

He backed up so he could see Kat better. “I miss you.” 

Hearing him say it was sobering. “Not more than I miss you.” 

“Are you coming?”

She didn't want to disappoint him, none of them. “I can't just yet but I'm hoping within the next couple of weeks.”

“Why you asked? You know she's going to say no,” she heard Asha say off camera. Arman's eyes dropped and his smile dissipated.

Her daughter's words were an icy punch to the gut. Not only was she losing her wife but now her kids. 

Arman went on to talk about their plans for the day. Then he and Kat played an online game.

2

It was the middle of a workday and all she could think of is Adena and the kids. Kat was doing her best not to go to her dark place but all she could see was Arman's disappointed eyes and hear Asha’s cutting words. Then there was her wife. For all she knew, Adena was mounting an assault on her character to take the kids from her. She brought up the laptops search engine and typed top rated divorce lawyers in New York.

Sutton walked in and around her desk to see what her best friend and boss was so engaged in. 

“Woah, don't you think it's a little early for this?” Sutton knew about the temporary separation but didn't think it's was this bad.

“I don't want to do this but I can't be blind sighted again. I need to be prepared if she tries to take the kids from me. I don't care about the money but she's not taking my kids from me.”

“Babe this Adena we're talking about. I don’t think she would and I believe you know it.”

“I don’t know what she will or won’t do. I’m not sure of anything anymore.” 

Sutton turned Kat’s chair around to face her. “Do you hear yourself?” She, then, reached for the mouse and clicked closed the internet browser. “Maybe take a step back. I think everything going on with this place have you stressed and seeing everything as a threat.”

“You think I'm paranoid?”

Sutton took a deep breath as she brought her hands together in front of her and measured her words. “No. I'm saying maybe Adena is right about taking the time to focus on you and figure out what you want to do about this situation and Scarlet without rushing into a decision. Don't do something you’re going to regret.” She loved her friend and as responsible she could be, she could also be as impulsive when Adena was at the center of her emotional turmoil.

3

Everyone's advice sounded patronizing as though it was all so simple. It was only one other person she knew could understand.

Jacqueline.

Kat played with the sleeve of her cup of coffee as her ex-boss and mentor and sat across from her. “So you see, it's not as easy as quitting. I could leave Scarlett and that would make Adena happy.” 

“But stepping down from Scarlett at this time will most likely ensure it will lead to a shutdown.”   
Kat twisted herself into knots trying to figure inventive ways to raise print sales. She studied demographics. She studied comparable publications. She ran focus groups. “The board and old investors will pull support if print isn't salvageable. Digital is great and does well but without the large ad revenue from print, investors don't see Scarlett as financially viable.”

“And everyone's is out of a job.”

“Adena thinks I'm putting my career before our family but she doesn't understand there are 93 employees I'm trying to keep from the unemployment line. I don't care about my job.”

“Have you told her this?”

“She’s not interested. Everything sounds like an excuse to her.”

“Kat do whatever you need to do. No one expects you to be a miracle worker.”

However, it's exactly what the board expected if you were to ask Kat.

“I backed you because you think outside the box, your not afraid to push boundaries, and you have your pulse on what's happening now. If Scarlett goes down, know it won't be because of you. You're in an impossible situation, one I don’t envy.” 

“I'm not going to tell you what to do but I'll leave you with this. Scarlett is important but you need to ask yourself if it's the most important. And it's perfectly fine if it's not.”

“Theirs this pervasive lie that women can have it all. The truth is we often make sacrifices so we can have what we desire the most. Sometimes we have to choose and that choice can cost us something.”

“So if your choice is going to come at a cost, make sure your willing to pay the price.”

“Kat you don't have to be Superwoman.”

Kat leaned back in her chair not sure she could do what needed to be done. 

4

Adena was crying laughing after Coco recounted the time she had to outrun a Parisian rat. She didn’t remember the last time she laughed so hard. She was starting to feel like her old self again.

She and the kids had been in Paris for almost two weeks now and things were just beginning to settle. Adena finally nailed down a routine that worked for her and the kids. She survived the rough days with much prayer, tea, and accommodating friends. Work with Elliott was satisfying. She missed Paris. She missed working in the ways she did in the past. 

A soft whistling begins. She gets up to go to the tea kettle on the stove. When she turns around Coco is right behind her. She's caught off guard as her ex slips her hand around her waist. There is a pause long enough for Adena to decide if this is what she wants before Coco leans in closing the distance between their lips. Adena kissed her back cautiously as if experimenting, before returning the kiss more fully. Coco's hands move from her waist to her face, pulling her in further. Her hands move into her hair and her lips along the side of her neck before Adena pulls back and places a hand on Coco’s chest to gently push her away. “This can't happen.”

Coco’s hands dropped back down to Adena’s waist. “Why?”

“You know why.”

“It doesn't change the fact you're here and she's there. You forget I know you. The only reason I’m here this late with your kids asleep in the next room is because you want me here. If you were happy with her I wouldn’t be here. 

Coco began to lean back in again until they heard a rustling of a doorknob and a door opening. It was Asha. Adena spotted her daughter and backed away from her ex. Asha came out the room asking for water.

“It's late, you should go,” Adena told Coco. She gave a nod of understanding but went in to kiss her goodnight and Adena turned away, leaving her to kiss her cheek. Coco left to gather her belongings and exit the apartment. Adena switched gears and reached for the cabinet to retrieve a cup.


	4. Chapter 4

1

Her phone rang and by the melodic tone, she knew it was Kat. Adena checked the time on her watch. It wasn’t time for the kids' scheduled call. She answered the call, “Kat? The kids are out with Firuze. Did we change the times?”

“No. I wanted to let you know I’m coming. I have to move around a few things but I’m coming.” Adena could here the levity in her voice. She sounded different. She sounded sure. Adena chest constricted.

There was a long uncomfortable silence.

“Or don’t you want me to come?” 

Adena walked to the back of the gallery to the office and closed the door. She leaned back against the door and closed her eyes. “I kissed someone else. She kissed me but I kissed her back.” Adena couldn't breathe as she waited for a response.

“Tell the kids I’ll skype them later today.” The lightness was removed from her voice displaced by a business tone.

“Kat, we should talk…” The phone called disconnected. Kat hung up on her. She placed the hand holding her cell to her chest as she slid down the wall to the floor. 

2

Kat’s cell began ringing almost immediately. It was Adena. She sent the call to voicemail.

Kat shut off the phone and tossed it onto her desk. She swiveled her chair around and found herself staring at the portable bar in the corner of her office. It's always there. She paid no attention most days unless a client or vendor wanted a drink. She pushed out the chair, walked over, and began examining the bottles before deciding on a single malt scotch neat. Who needed ice?

She flipped over a glass and poured three fingers worth and tossed half of it back wincing at the burn before adding a little more and walking back to her desk. She couldn’t get shit-faced. She had another meeting in an hour and planned to speak to her kids afterward. 

Kat picked up her cell and pulled out a card Richard gave her. He said he was the best divorce attorney on the east coast. She dialed and waited.

After the phone call, Kat returned emails, sipped her scotch, and pushed Adena far back into the recesses of her mind. 

Jacqueline was right she couldn't have it all. So the only choice left to make wasn't even a choice. Her kids, she chose Asha and Arman. She no longer had Adena, in a few months she may not have a job, all she has left is her kids, and she would fight to the death for them. 

3

Arman Skyped Kat first but she was at her laptop in the office waiting. “Hi, Mommie!”

“There’s my Yaya! How was your day? I want to hear everything.” Arman went on to replay an account of everything he could remember down to what he had for lunch. When it was clear he didn’t have much more to say he quietly asked, “when are you coming?”

“Soon baby.”

“How soon?” He seemed to think better of the question, “Never mind.”

“No, I am. Wait.” Kat clicked open a browser and began to look up airline flights. “I’m looking for a ticket to buy right now, so I can tell you the exact day and time.

Arman’s brown eyes lit up and suddenly Asha’s face made an appearance. “You really coming?” Asha asked with great expectancy.

“Yeah, I am.” Kat found the flight the would work. I’ll be there in 2 days on Thursday at 6 pm. 

“Maman we have to get mommie from the airport when she comes,” Asha ran somewhere off camera.

“Oh no baby, maman doesn't have to go to the airport, it’ll be easier if I come to you.”

“I can’t wait.” Arman grinned.

“Me neither baby.”

Arman let his sister have her time and happily went to help Adena with dinner. 

Kat watched Asha get seated on the chair and smile the most precious smile before she began telling her how Paris and home were different. Asha was happy to talk to her and this was good enough reason for Kat to feel a little better. Asha hasn't been pleased with her since being in Paris and found ways to remind her. But not today. Today she was open and happy and full of jokes and observations. She talked longer than usual leading Kat to push back a conference call because she didn't want it to end. 

Adena tried to speak to Kat after Asha got off with her. Kat made an excuse about having to get back to work and closed out Skype.

4

It was the end of the workday. Most of the floor was cleared out. Kat took off her DKNY tweed blazer and chucked it on to the black leather sofa. She didn’t bother to act like she wasn’t going to continue where she left off and drink a good amount of what was left of the bottle of scotch. She picked up the bottle and took it to her desk, sat down, and refilled her glass to a satisfying amount. She took a healthy swig and pulled a bulky file from her desk and began to review the compiled research.

Kat new the research in and out at this point. She was hoping that all the information would somehow coalesce into a viable solution by now. She's no longer as hopeful as she used to be.

It was two hours later and the only thing she managed to accomplish was a growing tension headache and eye strain. She began to massage her temple. 

A knock came at her office door soon after. It was an up and coming Sudanese model they were using for a shoot. She was leaning against the doorframe in a simple yellow dress. Sutton's photo shoot wrapped late.

“Zahara?” She was pretty sure it was her name.

“Close. Zahira.”

“Of Course, Zahira. How can I help you?” 

“I should ask you. Someone so beautiful shouldn't look so stressed.”

Kat quirked her eyebrow. It wasn't the first time a model has hit on her since becoming editor in chief. She quickly became a highly-visible queer woman in the media with her latest position. Despite being highly visible in her marriage to Adena, women on occasion threw themselves at her. Adena and Kat had talked it over and strategized on how to deal with it. One being she would never allow herself to get caught in a situation that could be misconstrued as improper. Optics were everything. Zahira walked around Kat’s desk to sit on it beside her.

“I’m married’, Kat held up her left hand. Zahira took hold of Kat’s hand and played with her fingers, “you should sound more convincing when you say it.”

Kat openly looked her up and down. “I love my wife,” but she didn't think it mattered much anymore. Zahira pushed off the desk, hiked up her asymmetrical yellow dress, and straddled Kat in her chair. 

Kat didn’t object when the 25-year-old pressed her lips into hers and began kissing her. She didn’t pull back when the beautiful woman, who was not her wife, guided her hand to her inner thigh and begged her to touch her. What was there left to lose?

Kat began massaging Zahira’s inner thigh as she kissed her, working up the young girl. Zahira began to moan into kat's mouth as Kat’s fingers inched closer to her inner sanctum and brushed her clit. Kat was surprised to find her without panties. Her fingers expertly began to rub her inner folds and clit. The model was wet and moaning and ready for what Kat would do next.

Kat’s fingers were about to enter her when a sharp “Kat!” came from the doorway. The model jerked back but Kat was slow to respond.

Sutton was there with a disapproving look for both of them. She looks at the model. “You should leave.” The model jumped up with pouty lips and a heaving chest scurrying out of the office as she fixed her dress.

“Kat, are you trying to blow up your life right now. Two words. Morality clause.” This wasn't her. Kat was being reckless. She's always had a firm policy of not being involved with anyone connected to her employment. Separation of church and state is what she called it. This was before the Persian artist and her friend met. “You need to go and work things out with Adena.”

“She kissed someone else. She accused me of cheating but she was the one kissing other women.”

“So, is this you getting even?”

“This is me getting free.”

“How much did you drink?” Sutton knew it was a silly question given Kat's behavior and the empty bottle in her trash can. Sutton grabbed Kat's blazer and tossed it in her lap. “Come with me, I’m taking you home.”

“I can’t I need to work.”

“No, what you need to do is wash your hands and let's go. You’re in no condition to do anything productive.” Kat rolled her eyes but Sutton didn't care. “Get your shit and let’s go.”

Kat didn’t have the energy to fight Sutton or anyone else tonight so she started packing up. Her phone rang. It was Adena. She was about to answer when Sutton stopped her. You need to sober up before talking to her. She sent the phone to voicemail.

They returned to Kat and Adena’s home close to 9.

Kat began laughing as she stumbled across the threshold with Sutton at her back. “She said I work too much but she wasn’t complaining when I bought this two million dollar house she wanted.”

“I should have fucked that girl.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Did you see her? Because you would have done it too.” Kat kicked off her heels and dropped her blazer somewhere in the hall.

“Your definitely drunk. I hired her so I know exactly how hot she is but she’s not your wife and the mother to your kids." Sutton knew Kat was only venting because she's hurt. Kat has loved Adena most of her adult life. They have been married almost ten years and dating longer. 

“I’m here busting my ass and she doesn’t see any of it.” The anger was draining away revealing raw pain. She could feel herself getting teary adn pushed it back down.

Her cell rang again it was Adena. She reached for it only to have it snatched away by her best friend. “I have to pick up, it could be about my babies.”

Kat made a good point so Sutton answered in place of Kat. “Hello.”

“Sutton?” Adena was clearly confused. “Where’s Kat?”

She can’t come to the phone right now. “I can I give her a message.”

“What the hell is going on? Please give her the phone? Is she drunk?”

“Is this whole thing a setup for a divorce?”

“Sutton, I love you but this is none of your business.”

“It is when my best friend is spiraling because she thinks this is some grand setup for a divorce.”

“Is it the reason why she’s coming?”

“She was going for you, all of you but you decided to cheat on her.”

“That's not what happened.” Sutton could hear Adena's regret.

Kat was laid out on her living room couch watching Sutton pace.

“Look, I get things are not easy for you or her right now. But she’s killing herself trying to make things right for everyone and it includes you but you go and turn on her.”

“Turn on her? She said this?”

“She doesn’t have to say it. You make plans to take the kids and leave with little notice, what is she supposed to think? What would you think?”

“Tell Kat I'll call before her afternoon call with the kids.” Adena disconnected before she lost her temper.

“I love you, Sutton,” Kat clung to Arman's bear while smiling at her friend.

“I love you too.” Sutton slapped Kat's feet so she could move them off the couch and sit.

“I should have married you.” Kat lifted her legs and placed it on Sutton's lap.

“You don't mean it.” 

“No, I don't but I’m glad I picked you and Alex to be Asha and Arman’s godparents.”

“Lets sober you up and talk about Scarlett’s August’s theme.” Kat lifted her legs once more and Sutton pushed off the couch to retrieve water from the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

Firuze walked beside Adena as she snapped photos of the kids on the old carousel.

Adena paused lowering her camera for a moment to check her last shot of Asha making a screwy face with her tongue sticking out and curly hair blowing in the wind as she went around on a black horse. She’s going to be the wild one, she thought. 

“She's coming, it's a good thing, no?” Firuze questioned, interrupting her musings.

“It’s complicated.”

Firuze saw Arman grinning at her and waved as he went by on a white horse. “When you’ve been together as long as you two have, how can it be anything but?”

Adena put her camera away in her leather bag and continued to watch the kids as she spoke to her friend. “This coming August will make 10 years we've been married.”

“Already” Firuze angled away from the carousel towards Adena. “It feels like yesterday you were giving me attitude for allowing one Kat Edison to take up any of your time.”

Adena playfully rolled her eyes and gave a sly smile before moving on. “Most of those years were great, not perfect but pretty damn close.” She couldn't help but smile at a number of salient memories of her and Kat, like the time they called themselves making an erotic video. Kat wanted to remember how hot they were together once they were old. Adena watches it from time to time.

Then there was their greatest loss. Adena’s lips thinned and a fleeting sadness moved across her face. “Losing our daughter changed us. After Jahan, I knew there was a chance that things wouldn't improve between us. And I knew then I would never divorce her unless she asked for it. She could have hated me. I couldn't leave her for grieving the loss of our child.” Adena glanced at Firuze before focusing back on the kids. “But this is different. She's not present at all and I need her. I wish I didn’t. I used to be so independent. Now I toss and turn in bed without her.”

“Love has a way of changing you.”

“You should know.” Adena smiled at Firuze happy for her and the happiness she found with her her new husband. Her phone rang pulling her attention away from Firuze and the twins. She fished out the cell from her camera bag, glanced down at it, and sent it to voicemail. 

Firuze noticed it was Coco. “And that?” she said referring to the call.

“A mistake,” Adena groaned as her attention shifted back to the kids.

Firuze frowned, “What does this mean?”

“We kissed.” She glanced at Firuze before diverting her eyes. 

Firuze was surprised but didn't let it show. Her voice remained low and gentle. “Adena, this isn't you. Are you trying to blow up your marriage?”

“Not you too,” she sighed. “Everyone takes her side. This is why I haven't told my parents we were having problems. I could hear maman now, ‘she's working. How bad can it be? Your father worked all the time. There are worse things.’ Baba despite himself actually likes her.” 

“Now this upsets you?” The older woman could see her friend was scattered and unlike herself.

“It's annoying. I spent over a decade trying to get this man to accept my sexuality. It would be typical of him to take her side if only to spite me.” 

“Kat's charming when she wants to be. You love it and you love your family for accepting her. And you also know their acceptance took time and was hard won. Tell me, What is this really about?”

“I'm mad at her but now I did this stupid thing. And now I can’t just be mad at her. She gets to be mad at me and it's yet another reason for her to deflect.” Adena looked to her friend with soft, sad eyes. “I'm mad at me and her.” Tears of frustration pricked at the corners of her eyes.

Firuze saw the tears and engulfed Adena into a warm hug. “Oh honey, I am forever on your side.” She held her and allowed the silence to hold to the moment before asking. “Do you want a divorce? I only ask because it took you a long time to leave Coco and even then it took Kat to make it happen. Do you want a divorce but can’t bring yourself to ask for it?” 

“I want my marriage to work.” Adena cried into her shoulder.

“I know you do. I'll admit to not always understanding your and Kat's relationship but I also believe it's more than possible for you two to work out your differences.” 

“I love Kat with everything I have and her career had been on this upward trajectory since before we met. I'm proud of her. But lately, her career takes up all the space between us.” Adena lost sight of the twins and walked around the carousel to get a better look with Firuze close behind. “I'm the wife of a young successful editor n chief. I'm so lucky. I know this because strangers tell me this all the time. This is how people see me. An addendum, a tag along, an afterthought.”

Firuze tapped Adena on the arm and pointed to the kids over by the seesaw. Adena sighed in relief and they walked over to sit on the nearby bench.

“Coco sees me. Not as someone's mother or wife. She sees me as my own person. She reminds me of who I used to be, things I used to do.”

Firuze listened without judgment as she continued. “I haven't created anything I'm proud of any forever and that's when I have time.” Adena turned to face her longtime confidante. “I don't recognize myself anymore. I’ve become a cliche and she hadn't noticed. Kat doesn't see anymore.” Maybe this was the part that hurt the most. “And now,” Adena turned her sights back to watching her children play. “She's angry with me. She won't speak to me, not really. She’ll talk to me about the kids but nothing else.” 

“She'll be here this evening and the kids are over the moon. I'm happy for them and her. I am but I don't know what this means for us.”

Firuze hooked an arm around Adena’s, “I pray things work out the way you would like but if it doesn’t, you have me and two adorable kids to remind you of how wonderful you are."

2

Kat thought about getting a nearby hotel room but decided it would be too confusing for the kids. She also didn't want to spend any more time away from them than she already had.

Kat released the handle on her suitcase and knocked on the door. She found herself suddenly nervous and wasn't sure why. But All nerves went away when she heard Asha shout “that's mommie” and a number of little feet rushed the door.

The door swung open and Kat released her purse to drop to her knees. Both of her arms flung wide to catch Arman and Asha as they rushed her body. She held them tight with eyes closed and inhaled them both as they clung to her to her and buried their heads into her neck. She relished the contact and didn't want to let them go.

After too short of a time, Arman began pulling away and that's when Kat looked up and saw Adena relaxed in the doorway gazing at her. Her line of sight was interrupted when Asha began to drag her in the door. “Wait I have to get my bags,” she laughed.

“I got them,” Adena said and Kat let the twins drag her into the family room. Adena took a deep breath and retrieved her wife’s suitcase and closed the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Kat woke up on the couch to the movement of kitchen chairs moving across the floor. Asha and Arman were climbing into their respective chairs to eat the bowls of cereal Adena prepared for them. Kat listened as Adena explained to the kids what to expect for the day. “You’re going to be with mommie this morning. I might see you for lunch but I’m not sure. It depends on what she has planned.” 

Asha looked to her maman, over by the coffee pot. “Why is mommie sleeping on the couch?”

“She kicks in her sleep like me,” Arman said with confidence.

Kat smiled.

“No, she don't,” Asha countered with clear disbelief.

“Uh huh.” He nodded with a mouthful of plain Cheerios.

Adena was amused as she leaned back against the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee in hand to witness the exchange. “She had to work late last night.” It was partly true. The other half is Kat chose to sleep on the couch.

Asha stirred her plain loops, watching them buoy back up to the top before saying, “Mommie works too much.” 

Kat’s facial expression sobered.

“She does work a lot, huh?” Adena’s tone was free of judgment.

“Why do they make her work all the time?” Arman asked.

“I don't know baby.” They didn't understand Kat had a great deal of power where her work was concerned and Adena wouldn't dare suggest otherwise to them. Adena gestured to the kids with her coffee, “I expect the both of you to be good for mommie. She may be tired today. Remember she had a long plane ride yesterday.” 

“Okay,” Arman agreed.

“Eat up before your cereal gets soggy.”

Kat pushed away the sheet and sat up, taking a minute to gain her bearings. She rubbed her ear and yawned before stretching. She didn't get nearly enough sleep. Nevertheless, she stood and followed the sound of Arman asking about another brand of cereal. “Next time we should get the other one.” He squinted his eyes and examined the plain yellow boring box.

“You mean the one with all the artificial colors and three times the amount of sugar?” Adena laughed but Arman was serious. “I don’t know. It has a bunny on the box.”

Adena returned to sipping her coffee when Kat walked barefoot into the kitchen. Asha's face lit up and smiled “morning mommie” with Arman echoing the same sentiment a beat later.

“Good morning,” Kat replied as she walked around the small square table. She encountered Asha first bending over to kiss her forehead as the girl continued to spoon her cereal into her mouth. She moved around the corner and bent over to kiss Arman’s cheek who was waiting to return one of his own.

Kat looked over to Adena who was dressed in a light floral hijab, a white tank with a light pastel floral blouse over it. A tight pair of jeans and leather stiletto boots. “There’s coffee left in the pot if you want any. I have to get going.” Adena walked over to her purse on the counter and grabbed her cell. “Give me a call if you have any questions or need help navigating the city.”

Kat only acknowledgment was giving a head nod in understanding. She waited for Adena to kiss the kids and say, “See you later, love you” in Farsi and leave before moving towards the coffee. Kat searched the cabinets until she found the one for cups and fixed a cup of coffee with lots of cream and little sugar. 

She sat down with the kids as they chattered on about a dog they saw in the park yesterday. Asha stressed the priority of getting back to this park to see this dog. Arman agreed. “This must’ve been some dog.” 

“The best,” Arman added.

2

Adena called but Kat's phone went directly to voicemail. She wanted to know if she needed to pick up lunch but quickly surmised Kat’s phone was off. She went with her gut and bought a few groceries they could use for lunch and dinner.

Adena dug around in her purse for her keys outside of the apartment door. It was curious that it was silent. For a horrifying moment she wondered if Kat took the kids, not just out of the apartment, but the country. She shook the thought from her head. She told herself she was being ridiculous, Kat wouldn't do something so cruel. Kat wasn’t a cruel person. She and Kat needed to have a real conversation.

She pushed the door open with bags in her hand and swiftly closed it behind her with a solid bump from her hip. Adena made her way towards the kitchen noting the sheet fort in the middle of the living room. She set the bags down and went to investigate.

After lifting up a corner of one of the sheets attached to a chair she could see why Kat wasn't picking up. Kat was asleep, laid out on her stomach with her hands underneath her head. Arman and Asha were stretched across her back, sleep as well.

Adena re-tied the sheet and put up the groceries. She put on some tea and tried to appreciate everyone back under the same roof again. In other words, she tried not to focus on the fire in the middle of her marriage.

Things went on like this for a couple of days. 

3

Kat noticed subtle and not so subtle changes in her wife. For instance, the way she dressed, she began to dress up every day and wearing makeup again. She had gotten out of the habit back home. Today she wore her cobalt blue hijab with a red bold lip and Kat found it more than a little trying to keep her eyes off of her. Her tight black leather pants weren’t too shabby either. She watched her wife flitter around the much too small living room gathering sheets of paper and stuffing them in a folder. 

Adena had come in late from work about 15 minutes before. She appeared to be frustrated as she checked and rechecked her bag. Kat was curious as she leaned back on the kitchen counter in her sleeping shorts and tee shirt eating the kids leftover strawberry ice cream. 

Adena seemed to give up and finally packed the folder away in her leather camera bag. She took her bag and placed it away in the closet before removing her hijab. Kat stuck the spoon in the carton, digging at the bottom, to get a chunk of strawberry and promptly stuck it in her mouth. The ice cream was good but Kat thought sex would be better. There was no way around the anger she felt towards her wife but she was also horny.

Adena walked towards her and Kat suddenly found herself overly occupied with the ice cream in her hand. “I’m sorry I’m late.” Kat looked up and her eyes softened when she saw the regretful look in her eyes. “The kids weren’t upset, were they? I thought I would be back sooner.”

“No, they’re fine.” Kat was struck by Adena’s worry. “They ate, we read stories, there may have been a dance-off, and they went to sleep.” The kids were mostly neutral territory these days.

Adena gave a half smile before maneuvering around Kat to grab the pitcher of water from the fridge. 

Kat eyes subtly followed Adena’s ass as she poured a glass of water and drank half the cup before filling it back up. She watched her set the cup on the counter before returning the pitcher to its original spot in the refrigerator. “Do you want to talk about whatever have you wound up?”

Adena looked up from the fridge holding the door open as she considered Kat and her question. Then she closed the door before asking “Are you ready to talk about us?” 

Kat took the nearly empty ice cream carton and sat it on the counter and without shame asked, “Can we have sex instead?”

“You’re serious?” Adena sounded incredulous, drawing her head back. “Sex isn't going to solve our problems.”

Kat slid her hands around Adena’s hips and backed her into the refrigerator as she gazed down into her eyes. “Do you want me anymore? Because I want you.”

Kat’s breath was warm and smelled sweet. Adena could feel Kat’s curves against hers as she glared up at her wife. “Wanting you has never been the problem. You’ve ignored me since you arrived …” Kat looked down and away and Adena responded by lifting Kat's head up to look her in the eyes. “and now the only reason you’re speaking to me is that you want to screw.”

“You hurt me.”

Adena wanted to counter with same but decided against it. “I know and this is why we have to talk. There are things I need to say…”

“I know and we will. I promise.” Kat soaked in the closeness. She had been lonely since her family left for Paris. She never considered herself the type of person who gets lonely. Sleeping with the same woman for the past ten plus years changed her. ‘I missed you,’ was on the edge of her lips but ghosted.

Kat placed a kissed underneath her wife’s left ear instead. Adena’s breath hitched as her hands raised to Kat’s back. She knew she was a goner after the first kiss and she knew Kat knew it as well. 

Kat could feel the rise and fall of Adena’s chest and continued kissing down her jawline. Her kisses became surer as Adena's body acquiesced.

Adena’s hands pulled Kat’s body into her own removing what little space remained between them. With eyes closed, Kat’s lips stopped in front of Adena’s before she pressed their foreheads together. Their lips orbited one another’s, suspended as they anticipated what would come next with every breath.

Adena knew her wife. Kat was always earnest and well-meaning in the moment. She wore it in her body, she could see it in her big beautiful eyes. Kat was craving something from her and it wasn’t only sex. So Adena caved, not for Kat’s sake but for her own. She craved Kat and her touch. She tilted her head and eliminated the distance between their lips. Her wife’s body and lips were home to her in a way Coco’s could never be. 

Kat untucked Adena’s shirt with haste, impatient to feel her body as she slid her hands underneath and wrapped her hands around her back. Their lips danced along one another’s, pliant and soft.

Adena raised the stakes when her hands wandered down Kat’s back and slipped into the back of her shorts, past her underwear to grab her ass. They continued to make out as Kat’s hands traveled down Adena’s ribcage and waist where she hit resistance in the form of leather pants. She blindly popped up the button and slowly unzipped her pants.

Kat's hand began descending into Adena's pants when the couple heard “Kissy face, kissy face.” It was their daughter teasing them as she ducked in and out of the kitchen.

Adena released her grip on Kat’s ass, yanking her hands out of her shorts. Kat pulled away from the kiss smiling. They both did. Kat politely zipped up her wife's pants before turning to chase Asha. “Shouldn't you be sleep.”

Asha squealed and took off running around the kitchen table and back to the bedroom. Adena smiled at their antics as the twosome disappeared into the kids' room.

Arman was out cold in the middle of the bed on his back. The covers, of course, were pushed off to one side of the bed. Kat moved Arman over to the left side of the bed making plenty of room for Asha. 

“I miss my bed,” Asha offhandedly commented while climbing underneath the sheet. Kat sat beside her. 

“It may take a few weeks but we’ll all be back home. Maman needs to finish her job first.”

“When I get big I’m not working.”

“Why not?”

“It's no fun. It keeps you far away from your family.”

Kat could only blink in response being caught off guard. She didn't have to be a therapist to understand why her daughter felt this way. “I'm sorry.”

Asha scrunched her nose, “Why?”

She wanted to say that she was sorry for not being present, for making her feel this way, for not being a better mother. “For not coming sooner.” Her daughter patted her cheek in response. “It’s okay mommie.” Kat pushed a handful of curls out of her face and absorbed the presence of her children. They were miraculous. Kat kissed her one last time for the night. She was about to stand and leave when Asha asked, “ Is Coco coming over?”

Kat found the question odd. “No baby, why do you ask?”

“The last time she came over I had to go to bed early.” 

Kat’s heart dropped. “It's not early, it's your bedtime.” 

“It's early if I'm not sleepy.”

“But if you don't sleep now, you’ll be too sleepy to go to the beach tomorrow.”

Asha's eyes went large as her mouth fell open.

“You forgot, didn't you?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright goodnight for real this time. I love you.” Kat straightened the covers over Asha and did her best to cover Arman’s legs until he kicked them away. 

“Love you,” Asha yawned.

She pulled closed the bedroom door behind her, leaving it slightly cracked.

Adena had moved to the couch and was waiting for Kat. She was confused when Kat emerged from the kids' room minutes later with a complete shift in mood. She was no longer interested in sex. She mumbled something about needing to check in at work. 

Adena furrowed her brow not sure what to make of the sudden change. 

Kat could see her confusion. “We'll talk soon but not around the kids.” Irritation seeped from her pores and she knew the less she said in this moment the better.

“Yeah, alright”. Adena got up and went to her temporary bedroom still not sure what happened.


	7. Chapter 7

1

After spending most of the day at the beach, Kat made spaghetti and salad for dinner at Arman's request. He inhaled his plate and went to play on the tablet in the bedroom. Asha was a slower eater and was only now finishing her food.

The day had mostly been peaceful. The kids enjoyed their time at the beach. Adena worked most of the day but found time to join the kids for lunch. She also talked to Firuze, who agreed to watch the kids later in the week so her and Kat could talk.

Kat was in the bathroom when her cellphone rang. Asha looked over to her maman, whose back was turned. She reached for the phone and answered. “Allo?” 

Adena finished rinsing the plate in her hand before shutting off the faucet and setting the plate back in the sink. She quickly dried her hands as she approached her daughter. “You know you’re not allowed to answer mommie’s phone.” With one hand to her hip, Adena held out her hand. “Give it here.” Asha turned over the phone and watched her mother place it to her ear. “Allo? I'm sorry my daughter…” The woman on the end rattled off something and proceeded to forward the call to someone else.

Adena checked the number. It was from New York. “Who are you again?” She frowned when a deep voice continued speaking. “Mr. Bennett.” she didn't recognize the name of the man who clearly was talking about her even if he didn't know it. Slowly the pieces began to come together. “Divorce,” she repeated. “I'll pass the message along to my wife. And maybe next time make sure you have the correct Mrs. Edison.” Adena clicked off the call and glared in the direction of her wife as she emerged from the bathroom.

Kat caught enough of the conversation on her way out of the bathroom to know she and Adena were on a collision course.

Adena looked down at her daughter, “Go play in the room with your brother.”

Asha furrowed her brows, “I don't want to.”

“Mina,” Kat interjected with a stern tone, “listen to maman and go in the room.”

Asha looked up between her parents before getting up from the chair and going to the bedroom and closing the door.

Kat walked over by the kitchen table, closer to her wife. “It's not what you think.”

Adena was seething as she spat “I'm not stupid, Kat.” She lifted the phone in her hand as if it was evidence. “You went and got a lawyer?”

“He's not my lawyer but I did consult him.”

“When were you going to tell me any of this?”

“About the same time you were going to tell me about Coco,” Kat snapped. She noted the subtle shift in her wife when Coco's name was said. “Tell me, Adena, is she the real reason you came to Paris?” Kat's mask of anger slipped awaiting a reply.

Adena sigh was full of weariness. “I told you why I came.” She handed the phone to Kat.

Kat placed the phone back on the table. “Do you want to be with her?” For the first time, Kat sounded vulnerable. 

Adena shook her head, “No.” 

The vulnerability didn't last long before giving way to her anger. “Keep the kids away from your girlfriend.”

Adena's own anger began resurfacing. “She's not my girlfriend. It was a mistake but I also know for a fact it would not have happened if things were different between us.” 

Kat guffawed, “So it's my fault you kissed her?” 

“No, of course not, but there's something off between us. We haven't been on the same page for some time.”

Kat conceded the truth in the statement. Things had been falling apart for a while now. She saw the signs but attributed the changes to other reasons. 

“Did you contact a lawyer because of the kiss?”

Kat nodded and mumbled, “yeah, that and you left.”

Adena paced as she tried to take in what Kat was saying and process what the lawyer said. One thing he said left her hurt and furious. 

Kat watched Adena walk back and forth in front of her with arms crossed before finally coming to a stop and looking at her. “You were going to use my immigration status against me.” She was a permanent resident but never bothered to apply for citizenship.

Adena watched the shock of the accusation wash over Kat. “No. I told him no. Hey,” Kat took her by the hand. “I wouldn't do that.” Adena looked her in the eyes and knew she was telling the truth but that didn't stop her from pulling her hand away. “You coming here now. Is this some sort of strategy?” She began to rethink everything Kat had done since her arrival.

“No. I came to be with my family. You know this.” 

“I don't know anything, including who you are anymore. Apparently, I need to get my own attorney!” 

“He's not...Ahhhh! You turn on me and you're asking why I talked to a lawyer?” 

“I'm sorry. I should have believed you. I do regret it but you didn't leave me with many options. I have done nothing but support you and your career. I worked less and turned down projects to stay home more with the kids.”

Kat raised her hand like a stop sign, “Don't put your choice on me!” Then she pointed a finger at Adena. “You said you wanted to do it. I never asked and I never expected it.”

“You're right and I would do it again but you neglected us.”

Kat walked away from Adena disbelieving what she was hearing. “Wow, I neglected you. You would think I'm the one that packed up the kids and trekked to another continent. You have the audacity to stand there and tell me I'm neglecting you and them. When I'm working overtime trying to make things work for you and them. I bought you the house you wanted, you fly first class everywhere you go, we live a very comfortable lifestyle. Our kids are about to start the number one ranked school on the east coast. Yeah, that's some fancy ass neglect.”

Adena was mortified by Kat's response. “You’re throwing money in my face. When did it become more important to you than being with us?”

Kat re-approached, “It's not. It never was. I'm standing here telling you this but you're not listening but what else is new.”

“Because your actions say different. I choose me for once and you don't know how to handle it .”

“You had me followed, took the kids, and cheated on me. Is this what You choosing You looks like? Does it require you to shit all over me in the process?”

“You left me alone. You said we were in this together and you left me alone with everything. You don’t ask about me. When was the last time you asked about my work?” Adena waited impatiently for a satisfying response knowing none would come. 

“Why would I?” Kat challenged. “You speak to me only criticize me and to tell me how I'm not doing enough. Nothing I do is good enough for you.”

Adena's eyes began to well, “You coming here was a mistake. Maybe you should leave!”

“Not without them.”

“No! Mommie don't go,” Arman shouted as he ran up to Kat and grabbed hold of her hand. Kat and Adena were jarred from their battle stance.  
Yaya's tears streamed down his face as he looked up at his maman. “Don't make mommie leave.” 

Adena was closer, bends down, and tries to pull Arman into a hug but he pushes her away. “No, you're making mommie leave.” Adena was hurt but tried to hide it.

A crashing noise came from the kids’ room startling Arman and grabbing the attention of both his parents. Kat rushed in to find Asha destroying the room. The lamp that was on the side table is now broken on the floor. The covers were ripped from the bed. Clothes were tossed every which way. Now she was stomping on a tablet. 

Kat called her name, “Asha.” The tablet was sufficiently cracked but she wouldn’t stop and she wouldn’t look in her parents' direction. Kat wrapped both her arms around Asha in a firm bear hug from behind. Asha kicked and screamed. “I want to go home. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want my room with my stuff.” She cried as Kat sat down on the bed with her in her lap and tried to comfort her. 

Adena and Arman stood in the doorway watching the scene unfold. Adena held his head as he leaned into her side. He was shaken when he saw Kat's tears fall from her eyes as she handled his sister.

“Mina, it's going to be alright,” Kat spoke softly to her daughter. She had stopped kicking and hid her face into Kat's chest as she shut her eyes tight. “I'm sorry. I won't be bad anymore,” was muffled as she cried into her mother's body. “Mina, look at me.” Kat waited for Asha to pull back and angle her tiny face up at her. “You're not bad.”

Adena and Arman joined them on the bed. 

“And you're not the reason maman and I are arguing.”

Asha looked to Adena for reassurance as she agreed. “That's right, baby. It has nothing to do with you or your brother.” 

“I know you want to go home. And I know you're angry and that's okay too. But what's not okay is what you did to this room and your things. Okay?” Kat continued.

Asha sniffled and nodded and repeated “okay.”

Kat wiped the tears from her daughter's face and looked into her big brown eyes. “I’m sorry for yelling.” She twisted to look at Arman, “I am.”

“We both are,” Adena added, hugging Arman tighter as she kissed his temple.

“Why are you fighting?,” Arman asked innocently not understanding what was happening.

“It's complicated,” Adena answered. “but sometimes people who love each other argue and hurt one another even when they don't mean to.”

Arman emphatically pointed his finger into his hand and said, “Then you say Sorry and you don't do it no more.” 

Kat held onto Asha and reached out caressed his chubby cheek “It’s not always so simple buddy.”

2

After Kat and Adena spent the night talking with kids they put them to bed together. When they finished Kat excused herself to the bathroom. 

Adena became concerned as time passed. She knocked on the door. “Yeah’ She heard come from the other side. “Can I come in?” She grabbed the doorknob and waited for permission to enter. It came in the form of a click, signaling the unlocking of the door.

Adena walked in and closed the door behind her. Kat was sitting on the floor with her back against the wall, face full of tears freshly wiped away. She joined Kat, sitting across from her on the edge of the tub. They sat in silence for a while before Adena spoke. “I don't want to fight with you. It's all we ever do anymore.” 

Kat lifted her eyes, “I don't want to fight with you either.” 

Adena began playing with her ring as her eyes welled up again. “I'm not happy and I know you're not happy but now it's affecting the kids. So something has to change.” Before long they both were tearful.

Kat stared at her wedding ring and then back to her wife's. She considered what it would mean to take them off forever. Her throat felt tight but she forced herself to take a deep breath that came out shaky. “I don't want to lose my family.” 

“I would never try to take the kids from you.”

“I don't want to lose you.” Kat needed Adena to understand despite everything she wanted her. She loves her. “I'm here because I don't want to lose any of you. I will quit Scarlett if you want me. It's what I was going to say before you told me about the kiss.”

Adena couldn't hide the look of surprise at hearing Kat say this.

“Will you stay and try if I leave Scarlett?” 

Adena sights were focused on Kat's crestfallen face. “I never said you needed to leave Scarlett. You love Scarlett. You always have and I don't need you resenting me for it.”

“There's nothing I can do to save Scarlett but I can work on this. I can keep my family together.”

“What do you mean, what's happening with Scarlett?”

Kat explained the financial troubles that plagued Scarlett. “Why didn't you say anything?” Kat mentioned some issues in passing a while back but never gave the impression the situation was dire.

“I did, but you said I was stressed and I should stop bringing shop talk home.”

Adena could barely recall the conversation if you could call it that. But after, Kat stopped talking about work and bringing it home which led to more late nights. Kat was giving her what she thought she wanted and it made things worse.

“There's one more thing I have to tell you.”

Adena waited with great expectancy to hear Kat say whatever she needed to say.

Kat considered the best way to tell Adena but she could never bring herself to say the words until now. “I kissed another woman.”

Adena shifted away from Kat upon receiving the news. “When?”

“After you told me about me about you.”

“Who was she?”

“You don't know her.”

“Tell me,” she demanded with a hint of agitation.

“A model Scarlett was using for next month's issue.”

“Her name?”

“Zahara or Zahira. I don't remember.”

“And all you did was kiss?”

Kat's eyes flickered down and back up to Adena's. “No.”

Adena felt her heart constrict as she braced herself for what came next.

Kat recounted the details of what happened with the model. 

“So if Sutton would not have shown up you would have fucked this girl.”

Kat heard the hurt in Adena's voice.“I thought we were over. It felt like we were over. I had been drinking and she was suddenly there, throwing herself at me.” She could see her wife sink into herself. “Are we done? Is this how we end?”

Adena half-heartedly hunched her shoulders as she shook her head, “I don't know. All I know is we need to focus on the kids and make sure they’re okay.”

It was the one thing they agreed on.


	8. Chapter 8

Kat and Adena's communication began to improve. Nothing was resolved but the kids were one thing they agreed on. Asha and Arman needed their focus. 

Kat energies went into being the best mother she could be. She planned to do something special every day with the kids before she had to return to New York. It took her some time to adjust to the time difference given her previous sleep deprivation. Once she did, she was back to rising before Adena and getting the day started before the twins woke. She made coffee, replied to some work emails, and showered. By the time she was ready to start breakfast, Asha usually was up and waiting for her. 

Kat stood in the small kitchen space with hands on her hip looking at her daughter. “What should we have for breakfast today?”

“Cheesy eggs,” Asha exclaimed with a little too much enthusiasm.

“Omelette it is.”

“No, no om-lette. Cheesy eggs,” Asha corrected.

Kat quirked her eyebrow, “What's the difference?” 

“No green stuff.”

“You mean Vegetables?” Kat grinned in amusement. Asha nodded her head. “But they're good for you and will help you grow strong and tall.”

“It's okay.” Asha waved her hand for emphasis as Kat laughed at her seriousness.

Adena walked out of the bedroom into the kitchen to her wife's laughter.

Kat laughed died down but her smile remained as she removed the carton of eggs from the refrigerator and sat them on the counter.

Adena rounded the corner in her pajamas, “What's so funny?”

Asha climbed into her chair. “We're making cheesy eggs.”

“Omelettes,” Adena clarified.

Kat looked from her daughter back to Adena. “No, see I made the same mistake. Not an omelette. Cheesy eggs don't have vegetables. Apparently, our child isn't interested in growing strong and healthy.”

Asha frowned, “You said tall.” Adena chuckled. “Maman, you want cheesy eggs?”

“I would love some with spinach.”

Asha stuck out her tongue, “bleccch.” 

Asha went to wake up her brother once Kat finished cooking and the family sat down for breakfast.

Adena and Kat didn't exchange many words during breakfast and the kids noticed.

Asha slowly ate and looked between her parents. Adena was looking at her as she chewed her food and gave a tip lip smile. Kat alternated between looking around the table and back at her plate. “Don't fight, okay?”

Kat looked up and Adena’s brows furrowed as she sat down her fork. “We're not fighting.” 

“You promise?” Arman asked, needing assurance.

“We promise,” Kat reiterated.

2

Adena was taken aback after seeing Coco leaning against a desk in the gallery office. She wore a black sleeveless shirt to show off her tattoos Adena guessed. “Surprised to see me?” Coco smirked.

Adena continued her walk to the desk, set down her bag, and began removing files prompting Coco to stand. “Why are you here?” Adena was clearly confused as she removed items from her bag and sat down.

“Elliott asked me to help with logistics and installation.”

“Oh.”

Coco angled her head in an inquisitive way, “Did you think I was stalking you?”

“No, I just…”

“Was avoiding me?”

“Yes, I'm sorry.”

“She's here. That's why you've been avoiding me.”

“I have to focus on my family and finishing my work here.”

“Ah, I see. You two have reconciled.”

“She's my wife and we have children who need us to be better.”

“Is this the elegant way of saying staying together for the kids?”

“Talking to you about my marriage was a mistake. One I won't be making again. You don't know what it is to have children."

“I still can’t believe you have kids.”

“They’re the loves of my life.”

3

Kat was watching the kids play as she thought about Adena and what's become of their marriage. 

Kat’s phone and Arman's watch simultaneously chimed. She called him over to take his medicine. He stopped playing kickball with a group of kids and ran over.

Asha looked over at her brother walking towards their mother, then continued to play.

Arman arrived at his mother's side and looked back at the other kids having fun. He looked at the dropper filled with his medicine and up at his mother. “Why do I have to take it?

Kat placed her purse to the side and leaned forward towards her son. “Remember, the medicine helps you stay healthy. Sometimes the electricity in your brain gets so excited it keeps you from doing the things you like to do. Like run and play with your friends.” 

“But I'm all better now. I don't need it no more.

“Ya, I know it may seem like you don't need it but you do. The medicine helps you be healthy and stay out of the hospital.”

“How come Mina don't have to take it?”

“Because she doesn't have epilepsy.”

“Do you and maman have appalesy?”

“No, we don’t have epilepsy.”

“Will I always have to take it?”

“Yes.” He started to pout.

Kat pulled him into her lap and hugged him close. I know you don't like taking your medicine but I'm very grateful for the medicine. Because I know even though you don't understand all of it, I know it helps you. His curly head naturally tucked under her chin as she went on, “I need for you to take your medicine, okay?” Arman glanced back out to the greenery after hearing the rambunctious laughter of the other children, “okay,” he grumbled.

Kat took the dropper and placed it close to his mouth waiting for him to open up. He was hesitant but ultimately relented and opened wide. He grimaced from the after taste of the medicine and happily took the bottle of water Kat handed him to drink. He handed it back after taking a couple of swallows. She wiped the corner of his mouth where he started to dribble. She didn't have time to kiss his head before he hopped off her lap running off to join his sister and the group of kids they met at the park. They were growing so fast and school was only a couple of months away. Kat smiled as the thought blew her mind.

Kat’s attention was drawn to the phone in her purse when it starts ringing. She knew it was Scarlett by the tone and her smile vanished with the thought it could be a new crisis. She answered the phone as she continued to watch the kids several yards in front of her. 

4

Adena came in from work closing the door behind her. She took her keys and bag and placed them away. She couldn't help but comment when she's smelled the familiar fragrance in the air. “It smells divine.”

Kat was inwardly pleased as she tended to the saffron rice.

Adena approached her daughter who was helping to set the table and kissed the top of her head. “Maman, guess what?” Asha greeted as she placed the silverware on the table, next to their bowls.

“What's that?”

“Mommie made your favorite.” 

“Did she?” Asha's eyes were bright as she grinned, “yep” in response. Adena smiled knowing the kids thought all Persian food was her favorite.

Adena approached Kat in front of the stove placing a tentative hand to her back as she took the lid off the pot and looked in, “You cooked fesenjoon?” 

“Yeah, I figured it would be a nice change of pace since the kids were missing home.” Kat cut off the stove and covered the rice.

It was true but also felt like a dig. “It's been ages since I made any. May I?” Adena took the spoon Kat handed over and tasted the stew, humming giving it her seal of approval. “I'm famished.”

“You didn't eat lunch?”

“I had some fruit but nothing substantial. I had an unexpected meeting.”

“Mommie!” Arman called from the bathroom.”Mooooooom!”

“What do you need?” Kat called back.

“Wipe my butt,” they heard him call back. Kat shook her head and Adena stepped in since Kat was finishing dinner. “I'll help him.” 

“Warning, he’s been in there a while. We're going to have to cut dairy out of his diet.”

Adena helped Arman finish in the bathroom, washed her hands, and they all sat down to eat.  
They ate dinner as a family and for a moment it felt almost normal until Kat and Adena eyes caught one another. There was a wall of hurt but also love. 

After dinner, they bathed the kids and put them to bed together. Given how the last few days went, it was more than a little victory. 

“How were they today?” Adena asked, concerned about the kids since their fight. She watched Kat go to her briefcase and pull out her laptop, no doubt about to work again.

“Arman asked why he needed to take medication again.” Adena could hear the concern in her voice.

“He's young. It will take a while for him to understand.”

Kat placed her laptop on the kitchen table and took a scrunchy and tied up her hair. “I know, I just don’t want it to get to the place where we have to force him to take it again.”

Adena hovered about the table staring at Kat before breaking her silence. “I have to tell you something.” This got her wife's attention as she glanced up at her. “I'll be working closely with Coco for the rest of the week. Elliott brought her on and before you say anything I found out this afternoon.

Kat blinked, “Okay.” She turned her attention back to her work and opened her laptop.

Adena started to walk away before stopping and turning back. “That's all you have to say?”

Kat sighed, “What can I say, Adena? You know how I feel about her.”

“This is Elliot’s project. It wasn’t my idea.”

“Whose idea was it when you kissed her?” Kat bit back.

“I thought we were done fighting?”

“I'm trying to understand. I am but it’s hard. You loved each other; was together for three years. You didn’t accidentally kiss her. It meant something.” There it was, the real issue.

Adena took a seat across from her at the table. She folded her hands on the table and glanced over at Kat who was waiting. “It wasn't about Coco, not really. I liked that she was interested in my work, my thoughts, me. It was nice because it wasn't about being a mother or a wife. It’s hard being in your shadow and watch your career skyrocket while mines withered away. You never seemed to notice. She reminded me of who I used to be and I really liked who I used to be... how good I used to feel.” 

Adena could see Kat getting unsettled. “Please, just listen.” 

“I'm trying to but all I'm getting is that being married to me and being a mother is making you miserable. Or maybe it’s me. You know I didn't want this. You wanted this at least that’s what you said. Then you made me want it and now...” Kat's eyes flicked up to the ceiling refusing to cry.

“Baby, please,” Adena’s eyes began to well. “It's not what I'm saying. I don't have the perfect words for what's going on with me.” A tear fell and she quickly swiped it away. “I was angry with you but more than that I missed you. I missed us being a team. It felt like you checked out of this marriage somewhere along the way. It was about your work or the kids or it was nothing at all. You began to feel so far away and I didn't have my art anymore.”

Kat watched her wife struggle to get out her words as she stared at the table. “My work defined me. It was my first love, my passion, the thing that drove me, gave me purpose. It helped me survive. Then when Asha and Arman came and everything changed.” Adena looked into Kat’s eyes, “I knew things would change, I welcomed the change.” She managed to smile through her tears. “They were our little miracles. But I'm only now realizing now I've been losing an important part of who I am. I feel lost without my art.”

“I never wanted you to give up your art. It's what brought us together. I noticed you weren’t producing as much anymore but I didn’t realize you stopped. You still took pictures so I thought that meant you were working. You never said you needed more time to work and anytime I suggested a nanny help out, you treated me like I was abandoning our kids. It felt like you were judging me because I didn’t want to be a stay at home mom.”

“It wasn’t you I was judging. I needed to be the one there because I missed the little time we had Jahan. I didn’t want to miss anything at least I thought it was that. I guess I was just anxious especially after Arman had his first seizure. I convinced myself it needed to be one of us because something might happen. I couldn’t forgive myself if something happened to one of them and I wasn’t there.” 

Kat stretched across the table and took Adena’s hand loosely in her own. “It’s not all on you.” They sat there together for a moment until Kat’s phone rang. It was Scarlett. Adena removed her hand and like that the moment was over.


	9. Chapter 9

1

Elliott, Coco, and Adena were in the far backroom of the gallery having a debate about the artists to showcase. Adena wanted up and coming voices that otherwise wouldn't get a shot. Coco wanted local established voices. Elliott thought of art investors as well as critics. 

Elliott smoothed his hand over his beard. “How about we settle this over lunch?”

Coco bristles at the suggestion. “Adena what do you say?”

“I'm not hungry but order something and we can keep going.” She wanted to get as much accomplished before the end of the day.

“Ahhh New York has changed you,” Coco tossed out with a wave of a hand.

“It’s settled then,” Elliot commented.

There was a tapping at the door that echoed through the empty gallery. Adena watched Elliott investigate who was at the front. Adena wondered who it could be since the gallery was far from being ready to open.

Coco and Adena heard Elliott enthusiastically greet someone before she heard the familiar shuffle of little feet. Adena’s eyes lit up and Coco didn't miss it.

The kids starting to run to the back but their plans were thwarted by their mother. “Hey, hey no running,” Kat directed.

“Ahh, they’re fine. Let them be kids.” Elliot responded after greeting her with a hug and kisses to each cheek. 

“You say it now,” Kat teased.

“Maman,” Asha called as she skipped her way the rest of the distance to the back office. 

Adena stared at the entrance with an air of breeziness about her, all seriousness washed away. 

“What do I owe this pleasure?” she smiled as her daughter popped over the threshold with her brother power walking behind her. They were adorable in their blue jean overalls. Asha approached the round table where she and Coco were gathered.

Kat crossed the threshold and stopped. Elliot walked passed her to resume his place around the table gathering paper to shuffle into a pile.

Kat and Coco made eye contact. Kat tried not to make it awkward more so than it already was and more than anything she didn’t want to upset the children. Adena was too consumed with the kids to notice Kat and Coco’s unflinching stare. It was stupid and petty but Kat wasn’t going to break out contact until Coco looked away. Elliot noticed but ignored it. 

Coco ultimately relented.

Kat was in a good mood and was determined to keep it that way. She turned her attention to her wife, hoping to keep all signs of her irritation at bay. “I'm sorry, did we interrupt?”

Adena looked passed her daughter up to her wife, “No, you didn't.” Kat's hair was down. She was dressed in a flowy yellow dress. It was the most relaxed she's looked in a long time.

Kat smiled in response to seeing her wife’s face. It was something about the ease in Adena’s soft brown eyes and a relaxed smile that made her almost forget about Coco. “Asha chose what we were doing for lunch and suggested a picnic. We picked up some sandwiches from Le Saint Regis. You remember the place?”

Adena definitely remembered it and couldn’t help but smile from the fond memories. They practically ate most of their meals from that place when Kat came to see her in Paris before they married. They didn’t leave her rented room for anything, too consumed with each other, not wanting to waste any time together. They made love and they ate and somewhere in between slept.

Asha grabbed her mother’s hand, capturing her attention once more. “Come eat.”

Arman walked over to Adena and hugged her, “Come with us, maman.”

Kat hung back in the doorway, “We wanted to know if you wanted to join us for lunch?”

Adena smiled widened as she looked down on her children tugging on her and back up at her wife, “Yeah, I could eat.” She stood and gathered her purse telling Elliot she’ll be back within a couple of hours.

Coco started to say something and Elliot stopped her with a gentle hand to her shoulder asking her to come with him to talk with Daniel this evening over drinks.

2

They found a nice spot on the grass near a tree for people watching.

The kids helped Kat spread out the blanket as Adena held the bag with their food. Once the blanket was laid out nicely, they all took off their shoes and sat down as Adena unpacked the bag Kat brought. She removed the bottle waters, sandwiches and fruit.

The twins argued over the sandwiches until deciding to share. They had the same sandwich but somehow thought one was different. The parents watch them figure it out for themselves and luckily it didn’t end in tears. They seemed to calm down afterward and the mothers were able to enjoy their meal in peace.

“How is work?” Kat asked before taking a bite of her tuna sandwich.

“Coming along.” Adena took a hearty bite from her vegetarian sandwich.

“What are you guys working on now?”

“You really want to hear?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Alright,” Adena went on to talk about her and Elliot’s differing perspectives about the direction of the gallery. Adena thought Elliot should start an art residency for artists. While he conceded it was a good idea, he felt it may stifle the growth of a new gallery. 

Kat listened to her speak with great passion. It reminded her of one of the reasons she fell in love with her. 

Once Asha finished her food. She and her brother began arguing about who’s the fastest. Adena stayed neutral as they attempted to drag her into the conversation. Arman decided a race was in order and Kat made sure their laces were tied secure before letting them take off. They decided on running to the next tree and back in an attempt to decide who was the fastest. 

“Mommie count,” Asha called out.

“Alright, on three. One. Two. Three.” They took off in a flash. 

Adena watched the kids running, “Remember when we thought something was wrong because Asha wouldn’t stand without one of us holding her up?”

“Then one day she just pulled herself up on the couch and started walking. She's stubborn like you in that way,” Kat quipped with a grin.

‘I'm not stubborn,” Adena glanced at Kat. “I simply know what I want.”

Kat’s eyes roamed over Adena, “So what do want you want?” 

The question was loaded and sounded suggestive. Adena opened her mouth to speak before Asha asked, “who won?” Adena turned towards the kids. They were breathing hard and leaning against the tree. 

Kat and Adena had no idea who won. 

Adena reached for a bottle of water and called them over to have some. 

“It was a tie. You’re both fast,” Kat congratulated hoping it would put the argument to rest.

“No way,” Arman exclaimed.

“I'm faster,”Asha started running around the blanket to prove her point.

“Nu-uhh I'm faster.” Arman's watch sounded off a familiar notification along with accompanying chorus of sounds from Adena and Kat's phone. Kat prepped his medicine while Adena waved him over to take a seat between them. 

He didn't pout but clearly wasn't pleased as he made his way over.

.

Kat and the kids walked Adena back to the gallery. Each mother had the hand of a child as they walked across the park back onto the street. 

An older woman walking her dog commented in French on how beautiful their family was as they passed leading to a smile taking up permanent residence on Adena’s face. “Merci,” Adena graciously replied. Her face didn’t falter once as they made their way back to the gallery.

They arrived in front of the gallery’s door. Adena and Kat stood there for a long moment before Adena spoke. “I can bring dinner back with me tonight.” 

Kat scrunched her nose, “I was going to cook chicken.”

Adena smile morphed into a smirk.“Your million dollar chicken?” 

“Yeah, but we can have that another night.”

“Oh no, you’re making the chicken,” she laughed. “Make sure you make extra sauce.”

Kat’s smile reappeared. “Don’t I always?”

“Ok, I should get in there before they make some weird changes without me.” 

“Give Elliot and Coco my best.”

“You don’t mean it.”

Kat hunched her shoulders and rolled her eyes with a smile,“I mean half of it.” 

Adena shook her head in jest.

Kat ushered the kids closer, “Say bye to maman, she has to get back to work.” Asha and Arman planted a number of kisses and hugs on their mother. When they finished Kat gazed into Adena’s eyes, “Thank you for coming with us. It was nice.”

“It was.”

Adena entered the gallery lighter and all smiles. 

“Things seem better between you and her,” Coco remarked.

“I'm not talking to you about Kat.”

3

Adena had finished working for the day and dialed Kat before heading back to the apartment.  
“What’s all that?” She could hear the riotous laughter of Elliot and a few others. “Oh, some old friends stopped in but they're about to head out to a bar.”

“Are you going?”

“No. I was calling to know if you wanted me to pick up anything before I headed back.”

Kat was silent for a brief moment. “You should go if you want to go.”

Adena twisted her lips in contemplation. “I didn’t plan on going?”

“Since when do you need a plan?”

She frowned, “Since we have kids; they need stability.”

“I’m here. You should go and have fun. The kids will be fine. I’ll even save some of my million dollar sauce for you.” 

“You sure?”

“Yes. Go, have fun.”

The call ended and Kat hid her disappointment as she informed the kids their maman wouldn’t be back for dinner.

Adena put her cell away and joined her old crew with a smile.

They took over a bar two blocks over and had been there an hour. 

Daniel asked the table if given an opportunity would anyone of them go back and make a different choice about something in their life.

“Who wouldn’t?” Coco guffawed.

“But who would you be without those choices and their unfolding paths?” Adena questioned.

“Exactly,” Daniel added.

Adena wondered if she would choose Kat and their life knowing all of the pain they would have to endure. 

The table laughed at something Coco said but all she could do is think back to meeting Kat at her old New York studio. They were seemingly so different like fire and ice. Adena could see how she was a little self-righteous and closed off. She misjudged and overreacted. Kat was all numbers and didn’t get what drove her but she did get her art and this was everything. In the first few years, they had many misunderstandings some were due to language and cultural differences and others were just plain personality clashes. Kat was like engine always revved up. Adena took her time and sometimes that looked like standing still to Kat. Kat learned to slow down for her and she learned to stay in one place for Kat. 

They had been through so much together good, bad, and mundane. She knew in her heart she’d always love Kat. She’d fought it before and failed. They both have. 

“Adena,” someone at the table called her name, snapping her back to the conversation.

“Hey, where’d you go?” Elliot along with the entire table was staring at her.

“I’m sorry. You’re going to have to forgive me.” She found herself feeling an intense need to go back to the apartment to be with her family.

“Are you okay?” Coco was genuinely concerned.

“Yeah, I just need to go.”

4

“There's chicken if you're hungry.” She heard as she closed the door behind her.

The television was playing a kids cartoon. Adena removed her shoes and sat her handbag to the side.

Kat was sitting on the floor with Asha's head in her lap combing her fingers through her hair as they watched Steven Universe. The way her eyes were fluttering it was only a matter of time before she was asleep. Arman was lying down on the couch behind Kat's head.

“They're still up?”

“Yeah, it’s my fault. They took their naps later than usual. Don’t worry it won’t be a habit.”

“It’s fine.”

Kat had to concede she did look fine. “You’re back earlier than I expected.” 

Adena took off her hijab and folded it up. She sat it on the back of a chair as she passed it.“I’m out of practice.”

Kat pointed, “I left a plate for you on the stove if you're hungry.”

“Thanks,” Adena went to retrieve her plate and begin eating while standing.

“Maman sit next to me.” Arman sat up and waited. Adena joined him at the end of the couch. He waited for her to settle before scooting beside her laying his head into her lap. She knew where this was going. She ate half her plate before sitting it to the side and massaging his scalp.

The episode ended and Kat picked up the remote beside her to shut off the television. The twosome was out cold. Adena took Arman to the bedroom, pulled back the covers and laid him down. She returned to pick up Asha off Kat's lap and place her in bed next to her brother.

Adena returned to the living room and joined Kat, who had since moved to the couch. Her head was resting against the back of the couch with her eyes closed.

Adena studied her wife’s profile as she considered the love she has for her. “Knowing what you know now, would you still choose to marry me if given a chance to do it all again?”

“Yes.” Kat didn’t bother opening her eyes.

“You didn’t even think about it.”. 

Kat cracked open her eyes to look over at her wife. “There’s nothing to think about? I would always choose our kids and I would always choose you.”

Kat left Adena to consider her response as she turned her sights to the off television. Kat reached out, fingers finding Adena’s palm. Kat closed her eyes once more. The light touch stirred up energy in her Adena’s low belly. It was a reminder of the little physical contact they’ve had between them. Adena clasped Kat’s hand fully in her own and held it. Neither spoke, fully aware talking about it would lead to it ending. They sat there in comfortable silence for a stretch of time. 

Then a phone rang. It was Kat’s and they both knew it was Scarlett. Kat exhaled deeply and Adena released her hand, “You should get that. It’s probably important.” There was no irritation or condescension. Adena said good night and Kat searched out her phone.


	10. Chapter 10

1

Adena hustled across the street after spotting her trio. Kat and the kids waited outside for her arrival before entering the small French bistro. They were seated at the best table near the window. After back and forth with the kids, they finally ordered their food. The server lingered at the table until Adena re-iterated their order was complete.

Kat unlocked her phone to show Adena pictures she took of the kids earlier in the day at the Louvre. The couple leaned into each other’s space to share the phone. The kids were busy whispering about the dessert they were promised.

“Usually photography isn't allowed.” Adena felt the need to say but she’s pretty sure Kat knew this. Her response all but confirmed it.

“Yeah, well,” Kat dismissed moving on to their kids. “Look at this.” Arman was standing in front of the Mona Lisa smiling hard showing all his pearly whites.

“Cute.”

“It gets better, listen to this. Ya and Mina were not impressed with the Mona Lisa. Mina said she thought it would be bigger. Ya didn't see what all the fuss was about because ‘she's not really smiling’. Then he stands in front of the picture and smiles to prove his point.”

Adena couldn’t help but laugh, “Does this count as Yashar's first time indirectly telling a woman she should smile more?”

“I think we're failing on the feminist front.” Kat grinned.

“What's a feminist?” Arman frowned.

Adena looked over to him, “Someone who believes boys and girls can do the same things and should get paid the same amount of money.”

“Oh.”

Kat swiped to the next picture. “Here's Asha with Venus de Milo.”

“Well, it's actual name is Aphrodite of Milo,” Adena pointed out while looking at the picture of her daughter trying to pose with her hands behind her back.

“Art nerd we know. It was part of the game.” Kat looked back up at Adena, “I can't believe you well-actually'd me.”

The corner of Adena eyes crinkled as she smiled. “I did, didn't I? I'm sorry.”

“You're forgiven.” Kat swiped to the last photo, “Ya thought the Wondered Victory was cool but broken. He wanted to know where the head was. Mina said they probably got lazy and didn't finish. They agreed.” Kat placed her phone away in her handbag and took in her wife, “I couldn't get more pictures because the flash accidentally went off and I was almost caught. How was your day?”

Adena leaned back, “Not nearly as adventurous as yours.” 

“I would have asked you but it was last minute and I didn't want to interrupt your work again.”

“Great progress was made. The last of the artists have been secured for the opening. The event planning is finished.”

“Sounds great.” Kat was genuinely happy for her.

“Yeah, It’s all coming together.” 

“Does this mean you'll be ready to go home soon?”

Adena could hear the hope in her voice and noticed Asha perk up at the mention of home, “I'm not sure.”

Kat furrowed her brow, “What does that mean?”

“It means I don’t know,” Adena's irritation with the question was clear and present causing Arman to look over.

Kat was agitated by her wife's response and was happy when the server returned with their food. The family ate with little to no incident involving the kids. When they finished their gelato, Adena motioned to their server, asking for the check.

The server returned with check in hand. Kat took it and glanced over it as Adena proceeded to clean up the kids, starting with Arman. She picked up her linen napkin and started to wipe away the crumbs at the corner of his mouth. 

Kat removed the money from her wallet and noticed the server staring at her wife. Never one for passivity Kat placed more than enough Euros in the black book and cleared her throat. The server turned back sheepishly, cheeks starting to blush. “Is there something you want to say to my wife?” She was clearly annoyed causing Adena and the kids to look up.

“Pardon.” The server moved her hair behind her ears. “I don't mean to be rude but I’m a fan of your wife’s art.” The server turned towards Adena. “I love your work.”

Asha blurted, “Maman's pictures is the best.” 

“Are you working on a new project? There were rumors you retired but I knew it wasn't true.”

Adena gazed at the young woman wearing an indiscernible mask but Kat could tell the comments bothered her and jumped in, “Maybe another time. She's had a long day and we try not to talk work during family time.”

The woman profusely apologized. “I'm sorry.”

Adena smiled politely, “No need to apologize and rest assured I have not retired. But my wife is right, it has been a long day. So if you don't mind...”

“Yes, of course.” The server pivoted back to Kat. “Do you need any change?”

“No.”

Adena was quiet as they walked back to the apartment. 

Kat knew Adena didn't care for her speaking for her. It's not something she makes a habit of but the server situation seemed appropriate but maybe she misread Adena. It wouldn't be the first time. “Did I overstep?”

She was lost in her own thoughts and took time to register her wife's question. “No.”

“Then what is it?” 

Adena was silent so long Kat began to think she didn't hear her.

“She caught me off guard.”

Adena went silent again and Kat focused on the kids for the next several blocks and left her to her thoughts.

When they arrived at the final block Kat challenged the kids to a race to the door. Adena watched her trio take off with Kat quickly surpassing both of her progeny. “Hey” Asha called to her back. Kat won and Asha wasn’t pleased because Arman finished next. Kat opened the door and tickled Asha into a better mood as they entered the apartment. Adena smiled as she trailed behind her family.

2

Adena watched Kat prep the couch for yet another night. She watched Kat tie up her hair in a floral silk scarf, then pull at her neck and back before sitting on the couch. “Come to bed,” Adena called. Kat turned to look at her standing in the bedroom doorway. “There’s no reason why you have to subject yourself to more torture.”

Kat waited a beat as she considered her options before grabbing her pillow and blanket and following Adena into the bedroom, flipping off the lights as she went.. 

Kat stood in front of the bed, it was smaller than theirs. She glanced from left to right “which side is yours?”

Adena took the pillow from her wife’s hand and tossed it on the right side, Kat’s usual side. “Which side is always mine?” Kat's lips upturned at the corners for the briefest of moments before she crawled into bed, under the sheet. She laid on her back staring at the ceiling before rolling to her side to watch her wife shut off the lights and join her in bed. 

Adena laid flat on her back and adjusted her head on the pillow to glance over at Kat. “I'm glad you're here. The kids are loving every minute of it.”

Kat appreciated her saying it. “I am too.”

Adena could see Kat was trying but she also knew her job was vying for her attention while here. She noticed her up in the middle of the night, on her laptop or phone when she thinks everyone is sleep. She once found her asleep at the kitchen table with her laptop. “How’s everything with Scarlett?”

Kat shook her head. 

Adena placed her arm between them opening the palm of her hand as an invitation. She quietly waited as Kat questioned her with her eyes before taking it. Adena gently tugged at her wife's hand as she rolled to her side, pulling her wife’s arm closer around her chest. Kat moved behind her, tightening her hold, nestling her face in the curve of her neck.

Adena exhaled and melted into her embrace. Kat's hand moved from her heart to her stomach, grazing her breast along the way causing her breath to hitch. Adena half expected her wife to register her reaction and respond with a hand under her shirt or a kiss to her neck. Nothing of the kind took place. Kat's hand, for the most part, stayed in place. 

Adena placed a hand over her wife's and interlocked their fingers. She quietly fought sleep to delight in her wife's embrace. She found the weight of Kat's body and the warmth of her lips pressed against her shoulder blade grounding. When her body and mind could no longer resist the call, there were no tossing and turning only sweet dreams.

3

The couple was jerked from sleep when Asha burst through the bedroom door with tears in her eyes crying out, “Maman!”

“Mina, what's wrong?” Kat bolted up confused and in a panic. “Are you okay?

“Is it your brother?” Adena questioned as Asha made her way towards Kat. She looked to be shaking her head, no, but it was difficult to tell with how upset she was already. 

“I'll check on him to be sure.” Adena headed to the kids' room, certain she was worrying for nothing but needed to be sure. Arman hasn't had a seizure in almost a year but that didn't keep her or Kat from fearing the next one.

“Oh, baby come here.” Kat lifted the sheet to make room for her daughter who crawled into her lap. “Do you need a hug?” Tears stream down her face as she nodded through her sniffles. "I need one too.” Kat wrapped her arms right and kissed her head.

Asha laid her head on her mother’s chest as Kat wiped away her tears. Kat hugged her close until she calmed down. “What upset you?”

“I thought you went away,” Asha sniffled into her chest.

“Hey, look at me.” Kat looked down at her daughter as her little round face turned upwards to her with stained cheeks. “I would never leave without saying goodbye. Okay?” She needed her to know this. “Okay?” she repeated, making sure she understood.

“Okay.” Asha leaned forward into her mother’s chest as Kat sat against the headboard.

Adena sat beside her son, placing a hand to his back. He managed to sleep through it all. She took his wrist and noted his pulse rate. It was normal. She then ran a hand through his lush curls and sighed in relief. He was fine. She wondered what got their daughter upset.

Upon her approach to the room, Adena peaked in to find Asha curled into Kat halfway asleep trying to have a half-lucid conversation. She decided to give them a minute as she moved back out to the living room and began folding up the cover Kat left out on the couch from earlier. The blinking light from Kat’s phone caught her attention. The notification was labeled urgent and she thought about telling Kat so she could check it then changed her mind. It was almost three in the morning. However important the message was, it could wait. She placed the covers away in the hall closet and returned to power off Kat’s phone before returning to bed.

Kat looked to Adena for word on their son when she crossed the threshold not bothering to close the door.

“He’s fine. Out like a light,” Adena glanced over Asha. “What happened?”

“She thought I left because I wasn't on the couch.”

Adena started walking to Kat's side of the bed, “I’ll take her back to bed.”

“No, I’m going to let her sleep with us tonight. I want to make sure she’s alright. She was really upset.”

Adena let her be and got in bed. Kat remained sitting up as she held their daughter. Adena encouraged Kat to relax and lie down. Kat nodded in acknowledgment and laid down properly with Asha glued to her side underneath her armpit.

Adena placed a hand to Asha's back and kissed the back of her head. Then she ran her hand up and down Kat's arm coming to rest at her forearm causing them to lock eyes in the dark.

Adena enjoyed seeing Kat in this way. She must have a dozen photos of Kat and one or both of the kids in exactly this position just younger. Kat once joked that Adena's kink was her being knocked up. She didn't know it then but she wasn't too far off. Kat’s energy is different when she's around their kids. She radiated this level of softness and warmth Adena refer to as mother-goddess energy. She knew it sounded hyperbolic because she loves her and their children but it was true. She was different. 

Adena closed her eyes and went to sleep with her hand firmly in place and the image of her wife protectively holding their daughter as they slept.


	11. Chapter 11

1

Kat woke to a small pair of hands tapping her leg. It was Asha. She must've slept in because Adena was up and she could smell turkey sausage cooking. “Mommie you’re going to miss pancakes.” Kat groggily sat up and smiled. She sat for a moment letting her full faculties come back to her before Asha grabbed her hand and pulled, “come on .” “Okay, give me a moment,” Kat tugged her daughter back into her arms, hugging her tight as she squirmed and giggled “mommie”. 

“I love you,” Kat spoke into her daughter’s curly locs.

“I know,” Asha replied as though it was silly to state the obvious.

Adena watched Kat emerge from the bedroom behind their daughter who called, “Maman, I got mommie up for you.”

Adena sat the syrup on the middle of the table and smiled, “I didn’t tell her to wake you up.” 

“I didn’t realize it was so late.”

“Maybe you needed the rest.”

“How's my favorite boy?” Kat runs her hand through her son’s locs as she kisses him on his forehead before having a seat at the kitchen table.

Arman angled his sights up at his mother and cheezed, “Great!”

2

It was a lazy Sunday morning with no distractions. The television was off and the radio played soft French jazz at a low volume as Adena finished the dishes. She rinsed and dried the last plate, placing it in the dishwasher when she was done.

Adena watched Kat curled up on the couch after breakfast with her tea in hand watching the kids color at the coffee table. Crayons and markers were strewn across the coffee table along with sheets of white paper. 

Adena dried her hands and joined Kat on the couch, sitting close, hooking her arm around Kat's and quickly leaning in to give a peck to her lips. It happened so fast and naturally, Kat barely registered the exchange by the time Adena's head came to rest on her shoulder.

The parents enjoyed the calm silence as the kids were happily consumed with their art. Adena could see the moment Arman was struck with inspiration. His eyebrows shot to the top of his head, his cheeks widened and grabbed an orange crayon with urgency. Asha was more methodical. She strategically picked the colors she wanted to use, lining them up just so. then she carefully began drawing.

The morning passed by slow and relaxed... that is until Kat thought about her phone. Adena registered Kat’s shift in gears when she remembered. She could see the alarm go off in her body causing her to stiffen and look around.

The editor in chief realized she hadn’t heard it or seen her phone all morning. She got up and began searching out the device. “Babe, have you seen my phone?” She located her phone with some direction from Adena. Panic rose up upon realizing the reason her phone was silent because it was off. She pressed the button to boot up her phone and an onslaught of notifications went off. Kat turned to Adena, “Did you turn off my phone?”

“Yes, it was the middle of the night.”

Kat looked at her as though she was deciding whether or not to say anything. Instead, she walked into the bedroom hitting play on her first voicemail. 

Adena’s smile faded.

3

Kat emerged from the bedroom several minutes later. “We need to talk.” Adena looked over to the kids engaged in their artwork and stood to follow Kat back into the room.

Kat sat at the foot of the bed waiting for Adena to close the door. “I have to go back. Jacqueline gave me the heads up. Paul is trying to call an emergency board meeting and if he's successful I need to be there.” 

Adena was familiar with Paul enough to know he didn't care too much for her wife. Never rude but it was in his backhanded compliments. The pushback he instinctively gave when Kat was more inclusive and eliminated barriers in policy that kept certain people out. Knowing this she still didn't want Kat to go. “How soon?”

“I need to be there by Tuesday. That’s the earliest a meeting could take place.”

Adena frowned, "You would have to leave tomorrow."

“Yeah, and I want to take the kids with me.” She prayed Adena wouldn’t give her any pushback. 

Adena held a pensive look. 

“It's time, they're ready. You know it.” Kat was ready also. She hoped Adena was ready but the way her body language shifted told Kat all she needed to know.

“How are you going to take care of them and go back to work?” was Adena’s only question.

“I'm not going back to work at least not right away. I'll have this meeting whenever it takes place and I'll still have the rest of the week off. After that,” she hoped Adena would be home but Adena did nothing to instill this confidence, “I guess I'll figure it out until you come home. So what's the plan?”

"The plan is to finish what I started?"

Her response was too vague for Kat. "What are we doing here?" Kat motioned between them with her hand. "I thought we were working on this. I thought we were getting back to us.”

Adena furrowed her brows, “We are.”

“Then when are you coming home?” because all she heard was excuses which didn’t quite add up.

Adena could hear the frustration. “We’ve talked about this.” 

“I don't know isn't an answer." Kat looks at her and stands as though she's seeing her for the first time. "Do you…"

Adena steps forward readying to speak when Arman interrupted. 

"Mom, Ma I'm done. Come see." Arman looks between his parents sensing the difference from earlier.

Kat instantly switched gears. Her face became bright with a full-on smile as she gave all her attention to him. "Show me."

Adena let the words on her tongue evaporate as she transitioned back to mother mode. 

4

They all were growing restless in the tiny space. After bathing and dressing for the day, Adena and Kat walked the kids to the park. Asha bolted for the swings as soon as they became free. Her brother followed every footstep as they raced to see who can get to the swings the fastest. Asha was first declaring her victory aloud, “I won!” They were able to nab swings side by side. 

Kat adjusted Asha in her swing so she held on with a firm grip and Adena did the same for Arman. The mothers began pushing in a light consistent flow. Asha yelled, “higher mommie!”

“Yeah, higher maman!” 

“Okay but not too high,” Adena pushed her son higher as she watched both of her children try to outdo the other.

Kat was distracted as she thought about what she needed in order to prepare for the trip back. Then her mind wandered back to Scarlett. If Paul was trying to call an emergency meeting her must have reason to believe he would be successful in calling for a vote. More likely a vote to remove her as editor in chief.

The mother’s musing was interrupted when her daughter jumped out of the swing in midair laughing. Kat couldn’t help the involuntary yelp that escaped her mouth at the sight. Asha landed on both of her feet feeling pride about her accomplishment. Adena couldn't help the reserve smile which crept up in response but she didn't want to encourage it.

Arman screeched in excitement, followed his sister, and jumped. He landed on both feet but tumbled back falling on his behind. Adena and Kat rushed forward concerned until he began cracking up with laughter.

“That’s enough of scaring us for one day,” Kat declared. She looked over to Adena and thought this time was as good as any to talk to the kids about leaving.

“Asha, Arman maman and I have to talk to you.” The soberness of her tone forced them to pay attention. Adena held out her hand until Arman took it leading them all over to a vacant bench to sit. Kat looked between round brown expectant eyes. “I have to go back home to New York and wanted to know if you want to come with me.”

Asha looked at Adena.

Kat didn’t want them to feel pressured to choose. “It's okay if you want to stay here with maman.” 

“And it's okay if you want to go home with mommie,” Adena reassured pushing ringlets out of her daughter’s face.

Asha looked up at Kat, “I wanna go home.” 

Arman tilted his head up to Adena. “Maman you not coming with us?”

“No, I would go back home later. It will be you and mommie.”

Arman’s face was crestfallen, "but I want you to come with us.”

Adena did want to go back with them but there were things she needed, things that were in the way. "I know baba but there is something I need to finish here."

"Finish at home," he frowned.

Now it was Adena's turn to look to Kat for help. "Remember maman came here to do some work and help a friend. I know it seems like a long time but she will go home soon as she finished."

5

Kat sat at the kitchen table with her laptop securing three expensive tickets back to New York. Adena approached, standing beside her after packing some of the kids belonging back in their suitcase. “Thank you for helping Yashar understand.”

Kat gazed up momentarily, “Yeah well, I don't understand.”

6

Adena was caught off guard when Kat came into the room that night after putting the kids to bed. She stood in the doorway. Adena could feel her staring so she sat up in bed. “Are you coming to bed?”

“I'm going to sleep out here tonight. I need to work on some things.” 

“Oh, okay.” Adena noticed Kat’s energy change as she lingered in the doorway. “Is there something else?”

Kat’s eyes flicked down to to the carpeted floor and back up to Adena. “If you need time, I'll give you time but... if it's more than that you need to tell me.” Kat took a deep breath to steady her emotions. “You need to tell me if you want a separation.” Kat tilted her ear in the direction of her laptop. She could hear the familiar sound of an incoming Skype chat. It had to be work. She glanced back towards Adena, “I have to get that.” That's all she said before closing the bedroom door and moving toward the couch.

Adena's heart sank. She didn't know what she expected but this wasn't it.

Kat answered Sutton's incoming call and discussed work. She quickly approved the Fashion’s department's budget for the next issue. Once all discussion of work was done Sutton focused on her best friend. “Things are better between you two?”

Kat forced a smile. “Yeah. I'm glad I came.” 

“So you're going to work things out?” Sutton sounded hopeful.

Kat hunched her shoulders in uncertainty and tears started to well in her eyes. 

“Oh, babe."

Kat tried to dismiss her friend's concern, “I'm fine."

"But you're not."

Kat could feel Sutton studying her at a distance and it all felt too much. She wasn’t in the mood to cry. "I will be. I have to go, I think I hear one of the kids."

Sutton let her deflect. "Alright, I'll talk to you later."

"You'll have everything emailed to you within the next hour." She also had to email Angie about a focus group.

"Bye."

Kat clicked out of the video conference on her laptop. She closed out the excel spreadsheet and brought up a blank word document and began typing.

Adena walked out of the bedroom in a pair of sleeping pants and camisole. She veered into the living room and stood in front of Kat and her laptop. Kat glanced up and closed her laptop in response. “You changed your mind, you want a separation?” 

Kat placed her laptop on the coffee table and ran a hand through her hair, pushing it back out of her face. “No, I don’t want a separation. But I’m trying my best and nothing seems to be good enough. You don’t want to come home." Kat's body collapsed forward, anchoring her elbows to her knees, covering her face with both of her hands. "And I'm tired of disappointing everyone. I'm tired of feeling like a failure.” 

Adena sat down next to her wife, angled her body into Kat’s. She reached out, taking Kat's hand prompting Kat to look her in the eyes. "You're not a failure and you're not disappointing everyone.”

No matter what Adena said, it didn’t feel like it. "You're going to lie to my face.”

"Before I was disappointed but you being here has been great. This is what I've wanted from you. The kids are happier and it's because of you. I'm happy to see you're here and with them. It doesn't take much for me to remember why I love you." Adena kissed her wife's hand placing it to her heart for a brief moment. "I'm happy you're here."

"The first week here was more than a little rough. I don't know what I was thinking, believing I could handle both of them here alone. If it wasn't for Elliott being so accommodating and friends willing to help. I wouldn't have gotten much of anything accomplished.”

“They had fun the first few days. Then they were ready to go home. You calling twice a day gave them something to look forward to. And when you came, everything changed. So see you're not disappointing, just the opposite. You're very necessary for this family to work." 

Kat leaned back taking in her wife. "You say things like this but you don’t want to come home with us?"

"Of course I want to go home. I don't want a separation. I want our family together and healthy and happy. We don't work when we're apart … but I could use a little time for myself. And it’s hard for me to say that without feeling guilty.”

“It has to be more than that because I feel it. I feel you pulling away from me.” Kat’s hand slid out of Adena’s grasp and back to her lap.

Adena took a cleansing breath, blowing at slowly. “I’m afraid.” It came out like a whisper. “I'm afraid we will all go back to New York and things we go back to before. I will go back. I don’t want to lose myself and I don’t want us to lose each other.” Kat’s eyes became softer, more sympathetic and this encouraged Adena. “I'm coming home I promise, just give me some time to finish what I started here. Once the gallery has its opening I'll come home. But you have to make me a promise. This version of you stays. Don’t disappear on me again.” 

A stray tear fell from the corner of Adena’s eye and Kat caught it, wiping it away with a gentle sweep of her thumb. Adena held her hand in place for a moment before releasing it.

“Finish whatever you have to finish and come to bed.”

Kat nodded in acknowledgment.

Adena stood and returned to bed. 

Kat looked at the bedroom door and then back at her laptop. She picked it back up, placing it on her lap, and opened it. A black word document popped back into view. She considered what her wife said and began typing with a purpose.

7

Adena remained awake until Kat eventually joined her. They both settled underneath the covers. Adena held the side of Kat's face pressing her forehead into her temple before kissing her on the cheek. Kat blinked her eyes closed reveling in the physical contact. “Things will look better in the morning.” 

8

Kat woke early from the sensation of Adena moving her hair from her face. Adena was gazing at her when she opened her eyes. It was intimate and quiet.

They laid there together studying one another before Adena leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was as firm and as steadfast as her love for her wife. 

Kat melted into the kiss and slipped her hands underneath her wife's shirt. Her fingertips slid up her ribcage delighting in the expanse skin along the way. Adena moaned into her mouth. It took no time for Adena to straddle her wife removing her camisole in one fell swoop. Kat sat up and Adena helped her remove her own shirt.

Kat’s gentle hands began descending in Adena’s cotton sleeping pants, beneath her panties as she planted kisses along her neck and chest. The warm wetness that awaited her turned her on more as she slid her fingers into her wife. Adena whimpered in satisfaction as they began to move in rhythm.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If my use of French doesn't make sense blame google translate.
> 
> Thank you to the ones that are hanging in there with me. I appreciate all of your comments even if don't reply to them on any reasonable timeline. They encourage me to write. It's nice to know if others are getting anything from it.

Kat dozed in and out of consciousness as the pads of Adena's fingers skated lightly across her bare back. A good portion of the night was spent making love and delighting in one another's presence without pretense. 

Adena would kiss her shoulder or caress the small of her back causing her to stir. And in the next breathe, with a low sultry voice she would coo, "go to sleep, you have a long day tomorrow." 

"Then stop waking me up," Kat warmly teased. 

Adena wasn't trying to keep her wife awake but her lying next to her naked was everything after the last few months. "I've missed you."

Kat turned on her back and invited her wife into her arms and held her. "I've missed you too." She kissed once more for good measure. "More than you know."

Kat drifted back off to sleep and this time so did Adena.

2

Kat and the kids wouldn’t be flying out until this evening. Everyone’s bags were packed and ready to go. They planned to walk around, window shop, and catch an early dinner before heading to the airport. Kat had hoped that by the time the plane took off the kids would fall easily to sleep. Then she could work on some pitch to save the Scarlet. 

The day was uncomfortably warm. Kat and the kids wore tank tops and shorts. Adena called Kat red pair of shorts “booty shorts.” Kat conceded they were short but not technically booty shorts. Adena playfully swatted her ass and Kat grabbed her wrists lifting them over her head as she backed them up against the bedroom wall. Adena looked up at her unrepentantly with a glint in her eye before ducked her head and kissed her. They reluctantly broke the kiss after Arman yelled from the other room “I can’t find my other shoe.” 

“You keep this up and we won’t leave the apartment,” Adena threatened. Kat reached for the end of her wife’s skirt, pulling it up slowly as she caressed her leg along the way pausing when she hit her panty line, “Doesn’t sound so bad.” “it doesn’t, does it?” Adena enjoyed the position her wife had her in but sighed none the less because it was futile. “But we have two little people in the other room who might object.” 

Kat lifted Adena’s right leg around her waist, pulling her closer. “You sure...because I can be quick.” It was tempting to Adena, really tempting. “You’re incorrigible, you know that?” Kat began planting soft kisses down her neck as her fingers dipped behind the black cotton fabric and her fingers began to orchestrate her very own symphony. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” 

Adena bit her bottom lip as she swallowed the moans that were threatening to rise up. “We don’t have time for this," she heaved as her body flushed. Her want betraying her words. Kat whispered in her ear, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” Before Adena realized what was happening, Kat released her leg and dropped to her knees taking black panties with her. Her mouth took over where her hand left off. The leg that was just around her waist was now over her shoulder. Adena was left clutching blindly at the wall with her eyes closed. She came fast and hard.

3

The couple was strolling arm in arm with the kids walking a couple of feet in front of them. Adena patted Kat’s arm, stopped, and ducked into a store for a moment. Kat called for the kids to stop and they walked back to Kat as they waited for their other mother to reappear. Adena appeared a couple of minutes later with a bottle of water and a Chasseur d’images, a photographer’s magazine. Kat looked at the cover of the magazine, “I didn’t know you still bought this magazine.”

“Not so much anymore but once a year it puts out an amazing edition that’s almost like a year in review.”

“Huh.” 

Adena placed the magazine away in her bag. She then opened the bottle of water taking a sip and passed it around the whole family until everyone had their fill. Kat placed an arm around her wife’s waist and they continued on their walk. 

Asha and Arman were the first to spot the ice cream shop and that’s when all of the clamorings began. “Ma, Mom look” Arman pointed at the window displaying varying flavors of ice cream. “Can we have some?” Asha pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

“Let’s see what they have,” Kat opened the shop door and the kids excitedly piled in as she held open the door with Adena bringing up the rear. 

The kids were overwhelmed by the number of choices, pointing at every interesting looking flavor followed by an "ooh." Adena asked the man behind the register if they had any vegan choices and he pointed to a row of flavors on their left. Kat pointed to the mango, “do you want mango” and then she pointed to the strawberry, “or strawberry?” The kids took their choices very seriously as Asha whispered in Arman’s ear. Arman then declared his choice, “I want mango.” She chose next, “I want strawberry.”

Kat walked over to the register to place their order, she turned to Adena to ask if she wanted anything. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her son’s eyes glaze over and his body go rigid. "Arman!" She took a step and reached out before he hit the tile floor. She caught him with both of her hands, protecting his head. 

4

Adena didn’t realize what was happening until she saw her son’s rigid body in her wife’s arms. He was non-responsive. She was frantic as she rushed to his side watching Kat position him to keep his airway clear. 

“What’s wrong with Yaya?” Asha was distressed. 

“What's wrong with him?” The man behind the counter questioned.

“He's having a seizure.”

"He's going to be okay." Kat was trying not to panic but Adena could see the fear in her eyes because it mirrored her own.

If they were home in New York Kat would know exactly what to do. She knows it's important to stay as calm as she can. Make sure his airway is clear and he didn't hurt his head. Call his neurologist to see if he needs to go to the office or the emergency room. But here and now, she could barely think and any French she knew was wiped clean from her mind.

Arman's body began to relax but right when the parents thought it was over another seizure hit and he stiffened again this time losing control of his bladder. Kat looked to Adena with tears in her eyes, "call an ambulance."

A woman at a nearby table saw Adena's hands shaking as she handled her cellphone. "Do you need me to call?" The young woman asked in French. 

Adena hurriedly responded, "Yes, please hurry" and thanked her. 

Now Asha was crying and Adena tried to comfort her. Asha couldn't take her eyes of her brother who looked like he was in pain and her tearful mother. "Mina," Adena turned her child towards her so she was no longer focused on her brother. "Yashar is going to be okay." Asha looked down, tears flowing down her cheeks. "When the ambulance come were going to take him to the hospital to get checked out by a doctor."

By the time the ambulance arrived Kat was standing near the entrance, holding their son. His was laid across both of her arms. He was in between seizures, his body was slack but still unconscious. 

The paramedics took Arman and laid him flat on the gurney and began checking his vitals as Adena informed them in French of his medical condition, his medications, and what occurred prior to his seizure while Asha held tight to her side.

The medics began to move to the ambulance and Adena picked up Asha and followed behind Kat. 

“Qui est avec lui?" a paramedic asked.

"Nous allons tous les deux. Nous somme ses parents." Adena replied.

"Nous avons assez de place pour un."

"Vous faites de la place," Adena snapped.

The first medic rolled Arman into the ambulance. The second returned to the driver's seat. The third tried to stress there was not enough room until medic number one told him to let it go and invited the family in showing them where to sit and how to buckle up. Asha sat between her mothers with her head leaning against Adena and Kat holding her hand. She was no longer crying as she watched the medics check equipment and make a call.

Kat glanced at Adena and down at her daughter. “He's going to be fine.” Adena knew her reassurance was as much for herself as it was for them. They both were terrified. They knew most times his seizures looked worse than they were but they also knew it still could be dangerous. 

5

The hospital's emergency room was waiting for their arrival and it was unspoken Adena would take the lead since she was fluent in French.

As Arman was rolled into the hospital he began having another seizure prompting the medics to work faster to hand him over to the waiting ER doctor. Adena rushed to explain his medical history while also interpreting for Kat who was carrying Asha in her arms. 

Asha laid her head on her mother's shoulder. She watched them roll her brother into a station and recheck his vitals. His blood pressure was a little high. They started an IV, took blood, and placed him on an oxygen mask. 

Kat pulled up a digital copy of his medical records on her phone. She had access to every record since he was diagnosed at thirteen months. She handed it to Adena pointing to his history of different medications. The doctor used that as a reference point before asking the nurse to retrieve some medication.

The blood test results revealed Arman’s medication level was a little low but still in the therapeutic threshold.

The medication they gave him seemed to stop the seizures. 

For the first time since this ordeal began Adena and Kat felt like they could breathe. He was changed into a patient’s gown and admitted right away, taken for tests once he was stabilized, and later would be transferred to his room. Kat requested a private room, letting them know she didn't care about the costs. 

The charge nurse was not pleased with an American making demands. Adena had to smooth things over explaining the reason for the request. She explained her son's temperament along with the fact that both would be staying overnight with him. When the nurse seemed unmoved she pulled the woman to the side explaining how they had lost a child before and asked her to be patient with her wife. The nurse seemed more understanding afterward.

They needed to take Arman for a neurological test and they agreed Adena should be the one to accompany their son. Adena released Kat’s hand and left her wife and daughter to deal with the paperwork. 

Kat and Asha watched the other half of their family disappear down a hallway corridor. 

After finishing up the paperwork, Kat and Asha were taken to the room that would be Arman’s on the pediatric floor. 

“Come here.” Kat pulled her daughter up onto her lap. “How do you feel?”

Asha was quiet, responding by laying her head against her mother’s chest.

“It's alright if you're scared. It was scary. I was scared.”

“Me too.” Kat wrapped her arms more fully around her daughter. Then Asha tilted her head up to her mother, “Yaya didn't wake up.”

“Seizure makes him sleepy and sometimes the medications he has to take makes him sleepy as well. It can take a little time for him to wake up.” 

“I want him to get up,” brown round eyes began to tear up.

“I do too baby but we have to be patient and wait. Give him some time and he will wake up. I promise.”

“What does 'patient' mean?”

“It means we have to wait.”

Asha frowned, “I don’t like waiting.” Kat allowed herself to chuckle slightly at that. “You are definitely my child.”

6

He tried to orient himself in the room but the lights were bright and there was a strange man standing over him pulling sticky round circles off of him. He stayed silent as tears welled up in his eyes and his lips quivered until he couldn’t take it anymore. He started openly crying and called for his mothers, “Mom, Ma.” Adena appeared instantly by his side. The mother was relieved and silently thanked Allah for her son’s health.

“Baba, I’m right here.” The technician removed the last of the electrodes. Adena was quick to try and soothe him with a kiss to the crown of his head and gentle rubbing of his arm. Arman began to wipe away some of his tears but grimaced from the soreness which made him cry more. “Maman, it hurts.”

“I’m going to ask the doctor to give you something for the pain once we get back to the room.”

He scanned the room as best he could from his position, “Where’s mommie and Mina?”

“They’re waiting for us in your hospital room.” 

“But I wanna go home.”

“We will but tonight we have to stay here at the hospital.”

“But I wanna go Home, home.”

“You mean New York?”

“Yeah.” 

“We will."

“You're coming with us?”

“Yeah, but we still have to wait for you to get out of the hospital and for the doctor to say it’s okay for you to fly baby.” Adena saw her son calm down after her response. She could have cried out of relief but instead, she said, “I love you with everything I am,” in Farsi.

He replied in English, “I love you, maman.”

7

When Firuze arrived at Arman's room, he wasn't yet back from his round of tests. Kat was sitting in an uncomfortable looking chair with Asha leaning back against her chest asking questions about Arman's epilepsy.

Kat was surprised and happy to see Firuze. Her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. It was only five in the evening but her eyes told another story.

Asha scooted off her mother's lap allowing Kat to stand. Firuze bent down and gave Asha a hug. "My brother's sick" is how she greeted her aunt.

“I know, you're maman called me and told me.” Firuze stood tall and hugged Kat next. "Do you need anything?” 

A nurse came in, in anticipation of Arman’s arrival. 

“Would it be too much trouble for you to take Asha tonight?” Kat asked Firuze who had no problem with the request. “I would love to have her.” Asha on the other hand objected. “Nooooo, I have to stay. Yaya gets scared.”

“That's why maman and I will stay him.”

“But I want to stay.” Her mother and aunt could hear the silent plea.

Kat gave weary sigh, “I know but the hospital won't allow it, baby.”

Asha crossed the room confidently over to the nurse and tapped her on her arm to get her attention. “Can I stay with my brother?” The woman didn’t respond fast enough for her liking so she assumed she didn’t understand and repeated the question in Farsi. The woman seemed more confused and Asha tried to ask the question in broken French. The nurse smiled.

“Mina, please let the nurse do her job,” Kat called. The nurse bent down at eye level with her and replied in English. “Your mom is right. We don’t usually allow children to stay but maybe we can make an exception this one time.” “Can, I stay?” an impatient Asha asked once more.

“Oui,” the nurse replied.

Asha beamed, “Mommie, she said I can stay.”

Firuze was impressed and could see Kat and Adena in the little girl.

Arman was rolled to his room with Adena at his side. He was awake and clearly had been crying. He was transferred to his new temporary bed. Once settled with the help of the nurse, his sister ran over to his side. Adena picked her up and sat her on the bed next to him on the opposite side of his iv. Kat followed and kissed his temple. Asha hugged her brother, “not too tight” her Adena reminded. Asha was careful and light with her touch. “I love you, brother”

“I love you too, sister.”

“Guess what?” Asha grinned.

“What?” Arman questioned.

“I’m staying.” 

Arman smiled a genuine but tired smile.

Adena caught eyes with Kat and they smiled at the display.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If my medical stuff is wrong ** Kanye shrug** I'm not a medical professional.


	13. Chapter 13

1.

“Coco?” Firuze was the first to notice the woman at the door.

Kat was straightening the hospital bed sheet securely around Arman’s waist for the third time as he slept when Coco's name was uttered. She paused and her jaws subtly clenched before turning and setting her sights on the unwelcomed woman. She stared at Coco as she called to her wife, "Did you call her?"

Adena stepped out of the bathroom with a freshly washed face, eyes moving from her annoyed wife to the woman that seemed to have everyone’s attention. "No." Adena approached Coco and was curt, "Why are you here?"

Coco crossed the threshold and handed Adena a teddy bear for her son, something she bought from the hospital’s gift shop. “Elliot told me. I was with him when he received your text. I wanted to make sure your little boy is okay and to help in any way I could.”

Kat was mindful of many things at the moment. The first being her daughter beside her and the second being her son was asleep. She made sure her voice’s volume and tone were measured when she said, “You don't belong here.”

Adena noted the change in her wife's voice and the steely expression on her face. She knew in this state with one of the kids sick, Kat was fragile, but NOT like a flower, like a bomb. "You have to go." 

Coco appeared genuinely confused as Adena ushered her out of the room down the hall towards the elevators.

"Are you trying to cause a scene?" Adena came to a stop, off to the side of the elevators. The area was pretty clear except for the nurses' station across from it.

"Look I'm not here to upset anyone, it's the last thing I want. I was concerned and it’s not like she hasn’t seen me since. For fuck’s sake, we work together. Why is it weird that I’m here out of concern?"

Disbelief was written across Adena’s face. She couldn't believe she didn't get it.

"We kissed. So what?" Coco had grown exasperated with the situation but so had Adena.

"You don't get to do this. This is our kid. Hers and mines. He has a serious health condition and it's not for you to take advantage of the situation. You don’t get to show up at the hospital because you have decided we should be above it all.” 

“You make me sound like a villain. This is not some sinister plot to cause trouble, Adena. I was thinking of you and your son.” 

"You were thinking of you. My son doesn't know you. You knew you would upset Kat. And you knew I would be placed in the middle. What was the point?"

Adena took the initiative and hit the elevator button. “Our history is too complicated and I don’t know what we are but we’re not friends anymore. We can’t be.”

"Adena."

"It’ll be better if we don’t speak unless it's for professional reasons.”

"Are you serious,” Coco took a step forward into her ex’s personal space and took her by the hand.

"In any capacity, we were never going to work. I'm sorry," and she was. She would always care about Coco. Coco was intricately tied to her youth. They've had plenty of good moments but more painful ones. They sounded good on paper but in reality, there was always a cosmic force pulling them apart, some new job, art, some woman, wanderlust, another woman. “Thank you for the gift. It’s lovely. I’ll make sure he gets it when he wakes.” Adena took her hand back and stood there as Coco took in everything she said.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Coco took one good look at the woman before stepping into the elevator. “I was right, New York has changed you.” She resigned herself to the fact this was who there were to each other now and looked dejected.

Coco hit the first-floor button and the elevator doors began closing.

“I hope life treats you well,” Adena said before the doors closed all the way.

Adena examined the gift closer. The bear was cute but she knew Arman wouldn’t want it. 

Adena began making her way back down the hall to room 306. 

2.

Adena returned to the room and Kat bolted passed her. Instinctively, Adena reached her arm out behind her catching Kat by the waist. “Where are you going?” 

“To talk to her.” Kat’s face was serious like she asked to speak to the manager.

“Ohnoyoudon't,” tumbled from Adena's lips punctuated by a barely-there laugh.

“I'm only going to have a conversation with her. I promise.” Kat ended the exchange with a sarcastic smile.

Adena looked over at Firuze then Asha. "Asha baby," the little girl had her mother's full attention. "Do me a favor and take Firuze to the nurses' station and ask for a pitcher of ice."

"Ok," she walked over to Firuze and grabbed her hand like she was leading the charge. "Auntie, come with me." Then she proceeded to power walk down the hall. Firuze allowed herself to be dragged by her niece, amused by her bossiness.

“Now, let's go.” Adena proceeded to pull Kat into the bathroom, closing the door.

Adena stood in front of Kat, inches apart. "She's gone and she knows not to come back.” 

“Breath,” Adena took an exaggerated slow breathe in and out until Kat rolled her eyes and followed along a couple of times to appease her.

Kat gazed upon her wife quietly, seemingly calmer.

Adena looked up into her wife's eyes, "Do you blame me?”

Kat furrowed her brow, "I think we should go to marriage counseling."

Adena was taken aback and Kat registered it. Kat rushed to explain, “Not because of this, because of everything that's happened.”

Adena wanted to think about it, to find a convincing argument that would cause Kat to drop it. They could do this without a professional intervening. But she could see the panged expression on her beloved’s face when said, “I want to make sure we’re good. I don’t want this to happen again.”

The rising panic began to settle as she allowed her wife's words to wash over her and became lost her in her worried dark eyes. “Okay, azizam,”

Adena tugged Kat’s shirt into her body waiting for the rest of her to catch up. Kat bent down and Adena arched her neck up closing the distance between their lips. She kissed her unto she felt Kat pulling her closer and momentarily forgetting where they were. 

Adena slowly disengaged from the kiss with a smile, head falling back to look Kat in her blown pupils. "Firuze is taking me back to the apartment to pick up some things for Yashar, did you need anything?"

Kat shook her head.

"I’ll bring back some food."

"Sounds good."

They exited the bathroom to a waiting daughter, friend, a sleeping son, and one small pitcher of ice sitting on the side table.

"You ready?" Firuze asked Adena.

"Yes," Adena grabbed her purse.

Asha stood from the chair, "Maman, can I go?" Her round eyes opening wider in expectation of an answer.

"She'll be right back sweetie." Asha deflated at her mother’s words.

Adena looked over to reassure her wife, "She's fine, I have her." She then turned her sights back to her daughter. "Quick, say goodbye to mommie."

Asha ran over to Kat with a grin and kissed her goodbye.

"Love you both and you too Firuze," Kat called earning a smile from Firuze as Asha bounced back over to her other mother and took her hand. Adena looked over once more and smiled before leaving.

3.

The room had emptied out and was quiet though Kat’s thoughts were anything but. She needed to call Jacqueline. She pulled her cell from her shorts back pocket and sat down. The phone rang several times before Jacqueline picked up and Kat informed her she would not make the board meeting. “Arman had a seizure and is in the hospital. I can't leave.” Kat looked over at her sleeping son with a hospital gown slightly too big for his body. His skinny frame somehow looking even smaller under the fluorescent lights. His curly hair framing his face. She was ready to take him to a barber but she agreed with Adena to let him make the decision when he was ready.

"Is he going to be alright?"

"Yeah, we think so. Although we have no idea what triggered the seizures this time." 

Jacqueline offered positive reassurances and understood why she needed to be there. “The meeting had been pushed to Friday because of John’s personal issues.”

"Personal issues?"

"His wife had a clown serve him divorce papers in the middle of the office.” Kat sensed the smile in her voice over the phone. “He was told to take a couple of days to handle that situation. So that gives you a couple of more days."

She could hear the hope in her mentor’s voice but she didn’t want her hopes too high. “I don’t know when I’ll be heading back to New York. I have to wait until Arman is discharged and given the clearance to fly by the doctors and I still don’t have a hail mary to save the company. 

Jacqueline would have been impressed with her correct use of a sports term if it wasn’t in this context. There was an audible resignation by Jacqueline.

The choice was an easy one for Kat yet heartbreaking in it's own way. She felt like she failed Jacqueline and Scarlett but she's given all she could to the magazine. She's sacrificed so much and she was not going to sacrifice her children. “I’m sorry Jacqueline.”

“I’m sorry too.”

Arman's legs began to move and his eyes fluttered open.

“I have to go.” They said their goodbyes and Kat’s full attention turned to her son. She approached the side of his bed closest to the door. “What's wrong Ya?” He was out of sorts and was slow to move his right arm. “Is your arm still sore?

Arman nodded his head. Kat retrieved her purse from the chair and digged around her purse until she found her hand cream. She dabbed a small amount in her palm and began gently massaging the length of his arm and hand. She smoothed and stretched his muscles with the right amount of pressure. “When you and your sister were babies, maman and I used to give you two massages after your baths all the time.”

She gazed into his eyes and he smiled back. Kat continued to lightly knead his muscles working his way to his wrist and palm. She focused on the palm of his hand waiting for the inevitable giggle that would come.

“That tickles,” and a gaggle of giggles followed.

He smiled, “Mommie I love you.” And at that moment, Kat's heart melted and re-grew three sizes larger. “I love you more than the whole world,” Kat beamed back.

"And Mina?” he smiled.

“I love Mina more than the whole world too.”

“And maman?” his eyebrows shooting to the top of his head.

“And maman. I would never forget maman.”

4.

Adena gathered everything she wanted to take to the hospital including a pair of sleeping pants and headscarf for Kat although she didn’t ask. Some light snacks for the kids. Asha was in the room changing her clothes.

Adena took time to sit and join Firuze at the kitchen table.

Firuze looked over her friend, “At the risk of asking the obvious, how are you?” 

Adena sighed. “Today has been an emotional roller coaster. I guess I should be thankful Yashar wasn't on a plane when he had those seizures.” Adena sat back in her seat and reflected. “They were flying home this evening.” She sat her left hand on the table and began to stare at her ring. “I was going to stay a little longer but I’ve since decided to return to New York with them after his discharge.”

"I'm glad he is doing better. Hopefully, he'll be awake when I go back. Have the doctors said anything?"

"No, but they have increased his medication."

Firuze crossed her legs and leaned in as she looked over her friend. “Kat and you, how are things between you?”

Adena set her elbows on the table and folded her hands, “Let’s see: we avoided, argued, yelled, cried, and finally we talked.” She brought her folded her hands to her lap. “ Really talked.” Adena took a beat still processing what Kat said earlier. “She asked if I wanted a separation.”

“And of course you said, no,” Firuze said with a knowing look.

“I loved her so long it’s as if there were never a time I didn’t.” 

Firuze could see the difference in her friend from when she first arrived in Paris. She was more solid, happier. 

“Things are not perfect but they’re so much better than before.”

“I’m glad to see and hear you two are doing better.” But she was more than a little bit curious, "What was that whole scene with Coco about? Kat was furious."

"I don't think Coco really didn’t think about how her presence would affect Kat.” 

Firuze leaned out. "Yeah, but you don't have to be psychic to see there were better choices."

"The world stops for Kat and me when Arman has a seizure or Asha catches more than a cold. Coco doesn't understand the fear we relive when something like this happens. She doesn’t get how vulnerable we are, especially Kat. Of course, It doesn’t help that Coco has always been a point of pain in our relationship. Then I invited her back in and I hurt Kat in the process. So I closed that door for good."

"A clean break could be good for you both. I never understood the whole exes as friends situation."

“Do you believe certain people are destined to be together?”

Firuze's eyebrow quirked, “No."

Adena laughs.

“You know I’m pragmatic.”

“And I’m not?”

“Asks the woman who all those years ago hopped on a plane from Paris to New York with an expired visa. Ha!" Firuze scoffs.

"That was ages ago."

"You are a romantic at heart. All artists are even jaded bitter ones. Which I why I learned a long time ago not to date your kind.”

“Wow,” Adena feigned hurt.

“Artists love falling in love. It becomes another art form. The wooing, the discussions of existentialism. Artists are also full of shit.”

Adena screams in laughter, “How dare you?”

Firuze laughs harder, “You know it’s true.” 

“I know no such thing,” Adena eyes cutaway and flitted back with a smirk.

“It’s because artists have a great capacity to imagine and fall in love with what is beautiful in the world. Then you all make the rest of us see it and fall in love too. Then you move on to the next beautiful thing.” 

"Excuse me," she needed to interrupt their conversation to check on her daughter. Asha had been taking awhile getting dressed. "Mina," Adena yelled, "Hurry up baby we have to get back to the hospital."

"Okay, maman," came from the bedroom. Adena turned her attention back towards her confidant.

“I miss the way Kat and I used to be ridiculous together.” It was spoken almost wistfully, a confession and memory rolled into one.

“Life has a way of changing and I’m sure you’ll find a way to see the beauty in this change as well.”

Adena sobered. “She wants us to go to marriage counseling.” She looked to her friend for her thoughts.

Firuze reached over and placed her hand atop of hers. “It's good. It means she's serious.”

“I don't know.”

“What do you have against counseling?”

“Nothing really. It was a big help to Kat after the baby but... I don’t know if it is for me. But I'll go for her.”

Asha came out of the room dressed in pajama pants, a She-Ra t-shirt, and velcro sneakers. "I'm finished."

All things considered hey mother thought she did a good job dressing. "I should order the food so it can be ready by the time we arrive."

5

The twins were asleep in separate hospital beds. Adena and Kat were sitting in chairs watching them sleep.

Adena turned her sights to her wife. Worry lines plagued her forehead as she looked deep in thought.

She brought Kat out of her musings when she reached over grabbed her forearm catching her attention. It wasn't lost on her that the last time they were all together like this in a hospital was when her Kat gave birth. She remembered the awe she felt at witnessing Asha's birth and the immense terror at the possibility of losing Arman and Kat. 

Kat noticed the concern in her wife’s eyes. “You okay?” 

Adena responded by standing and pulling Kat up with her “come here” She pulled her into a hug. She held her, needing to be closer. Kat, in turn, encircled her with her arms and tucked her face in the crook of her neck, breathing her in. “I love you,” Adena whispered. “And I’m going home with you and our babies.”

It's all Kat has been wanting to hear but it somehow felt wrong. “What about finishing what you started here?”

“Some things are more important,” she whispered.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Kat hugged her tighter. “I love you.” 

After some time, Kat pulled back to see her wife glossy-eyed with a single tear falling. She wiped away the stay tear, “He's going to be okay.”

“I know.”

Adena pulled her back into a hug for a few more minutes.

Kat held her until she was ready to let go. Then she kissed her on the neck, then the lips. Simple kisses before releasing her. "It's going to be a long night. You should lay down with Asha and get some sleep."

"What about you?"

"This chair has my name all over it." Adena gave her a look of concern.

Adena unwrapped her hijab, placing away in her purse and carefully slid beside her sleeping daughter not wanting to wake her. Kat joined her at the side of the bed, bending down to kiss her once more, "goodnight."

Adena cupped Kat’s cheek, "Try to get some sleep." She knew her wife would probably be up a good portion of the night overthinking.

"I will." Kat took Adena’s palm and kissed before letting go and placing a chair closer to Arman’s bedside.

6

Arman woke up in the middle of the night to a mostly dark room. He could hear the light snores of his sister over in the other bed where his maman had an arm wrapped around her. His mommie was asleep in a chair next to his bed with her feet propped up on the bed.

He sat up, reaching over to tap her shoulder, "Mommie."

Kat's eyes shot open in a mini panic. "What's wrong baby?" was said with grogginess as she was barely lucid.

“I have to pee.”

The hospital provided a diaper in case he lost control of his bodily functions again due to another seizure. “You can go in the diaper.”

He was mortified by the suggestion. “Diapers are for babies. I'm not a baby.”

Kat reached over and playfully squeezed his cheek, “You're my baby.”

“Mom!” The whine was undeniable.

“Ok use your quiet voice I don't want to wake up your sister and mother.”

She could see he needed to go and was having no parts of the diaper. “Ok, but we have to be careful. I'll take you to the bathroom and then you can put on your shorts. Maman brought a fresh pair from the apartment.”

Kat looked over the machine, it wasn’t too different from the ones in the States. She disconnected the lead monitoring his pulse and silenced the machine before it could wake up the rest of the family. Then she picked Arman up carefully, taking him to the bathroom. 

He removed the diaper, tossing it in the bin and used the toilet. When finished his mother helped to carefully wash his hands, careful not to get his iv incision on the back of his hand wet. Then she helped wash him up, retrieved his underwear from the backpack, and helped him get into them.

A nurse came into the room to check on Arman.

“He's fine,” Kat said in French. “Just needed to use the bathroom,” she finished in English.

The nurse helped him get back settled in bed and replaced his sensor and reset the machine.

Before long Kat was back in the chair with her feet propped up. Arman was holding her hand while trying to go back to sleep in the hospital bed. His eyes were shut tight then they sprung open after a few seconds. This happened a couple of times before he gave up. “Mommie, I can't sleep.”

Kat wasn't surprised he had slept off and on most of the evening and now he was wide awake. She held open her arms and he crawled over into her lap. His head found her shoulder and they sat together in silence. 

Arman relaxed into his mother for a long while, molding into her body before turning his head upwards and asking, "Can I see your phone?"

"No, it's late."

He pulled out his best puppy dog eyes. "Please mommie, for a little bit."

Kat looked at his little face and thinned her lips. "Fifteen minutes and it's off."

Arman hurriedly agreed "Okay" before reaching for her phone.

She unlocked her phone and he played a game before he went to the families Instagram page. Adena had taken countless photos of the family over the years. Kat decided to make a private Instagram page primarily for their parents. Adena's mother always scolded them about not visiting as often despite saying she understood. 

Arman liked to scroll through their page every so often. It never failed to make him smile at some point. 

"Let's make a story," Arman suggested. He saw Kat do it once and has been obsessed with making stories since. 

Kat considered it for a moment, "A quick one."

Kat helped him get started and positioned the phone for him. "This is me and mommie. It's night time and I can't sleep. Hi grandma, hi granddad, hi baba, hi grandma."

"Maman is sleep. Asha too.” Arman looked up. “Mommie turn the camera to maman."

"No, they're sleep and maman doesn't have her hijab on."

“Oh, okay.” He looked back at the camera. "I’m in the hospital. My applelepsy came back." 

Kat was pretty sure she looked like shit but she didn't care because she was exhausted, Arman was good, and 23 people tops would see it. "Parentals near and far, before you freak out, know he is okay. He had a series of seizures that gave us a scare and now he’s doing much better. We’re in France so please consider the time before blowing up our phones. We don't know when will be returning home as of yet but it will be as soon as we get the all-clear."

Kat turned to Arman, "Say goodnight," signaling time to cut off the phone.

"Wait. We have to do something."

“Something like what,” Kat asked skeptical of what she may hear next.

“We have to sing a song.”

Kat covered her yawn, “What song should we sing?"

He whispered in her ear and she sleepily smiled. “Okay but use your low voice. On three,” Kat said. “One, two, three.”

The duo began to sing in unison, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

Kat ended the song with a kiss to the side of his head. " I Love you. It's time to get off the internet. Say 'Good Night.’"

"Goodnight, I love you," Arman smiled into the phone and looked back up at his mother, "I love you too Mommie."

Kat closed the app and placed her phone on the side table.

"I can’t wait to go home," Arman huffed.

"Yeah?" Kat leaned back and closed her eyes.

"Yeah."

"What would we be doing at home?"

"Rockin in the rocking chair with Bobo eating ice cream."

“What about your new bear?”

“Mina can have him, I have Bobo.”

Kat yawned once more, "You know what this reminds me of?"

"What?"

"When you and your sister were tiny babies. I could carry you in one hand but now you're getting so big. You'll be in school soon."

Arman angled his head up and saw Kat’s closed eyes. “Hey, are you sleep?”

“No, I’m resting my eyes,” Kat corrected.

Arman looked at her again and decided it made sense. "Mommie, can I tell you a secret?"

Kat opened her eyes and looked down at him, "You can tell me anything."

"I don't want to go to school," his voice was extra low as though he would be in trouble if anyone knew.

"But you like learning new things."

"What if I don't like it?"

"Then we can talk about it."

"What if they don't like me?"

"You mean the other kids?” She watched him shake his head. “Not possible. You're charming like me. They will love you." 

Arman must have been satisfied with the answer because he changed subjects without warning. "We should get a dog."

"Oh, I don't know; having a dog is a lot of responsibility."

"But think about it. It would be so much fun."

“You have to walk dogs at least twice a day EVERY day. You have to clean up their poop.”

“Ewe.”

“Yeah and you would have to do it even when you don’t feel like it.”

“I can do it.” He was pretty sure of it.

“I don’t know. You don’t pick up your toys after yourself.”

The boy frowned, “Only some times.”

Arman went into talking about getting a dog for the next twenty minutes before Kat changed the subject. He talked on and off the rest of the night before falling back to sleep.

Adena heard them up late and wanted to let them sleep as long as possible. Or at least as long as the hospital would allow before waking them up which wasn't going to be too much longer. 

Both were knocked out. Kat's head was resting on the back of the chair and Arman was in her arms, mouth slightly opened, drooling onto her shirt. Adena took the sheet from the bed and carefully covered them.


End file.
